Hi, my name is Redeux, I'm writing this parody here that's very loosely based on the cartoon show "Justice League". If you got comments, send them to redeux@hotmail.com Ok, I hope you like the story, peace.
Oh yeah, if you're under 18 or you're offended by written sexual content, don't read this story.
One day, Superman was flying around the city, patrolling the area, when he heard something with his super hearing. A man was demanding in a hostile tone, "Give me all your money, old man!"
"Oh no! An evildoer! I must stop him!" Superman dove down to the street and landed in front of a grocery store. A tall masked man was pointing a gun at the store clerk. "Stop right there, evildoer!"
The masked man turned to Superman, then yelled "Shit!" He didn't bother shooting the gun. He dropped it, then suddenly ran out of the store with amazing superhuman speed and a fistful of dollars. Superman was startled by the man's surprising speed, but he quickly pursued. Much to his surprise, he could not catch up with the young man, the young man was just as fast as he was. But after a couple minutes, the young man slowed down, obviously tiring.
"Oh man, geez, I gotta stop smoking!" The man zipped into a side alley and placed his hands on his hips, trying to catch his breath. "I hope I lost that Superman guy oh shit!" Superman was right in front of him. "Superrman!"
"I don't know who you are, young man, but you're in a lot of trouble." Superman sternly wagged a finger.
"Up yours, square." The young man suddenly clocked Superman right in the face, and much to Superman's surprise, this strange man had superhuman strength, too! The punch sent Superman flying through several walls.
Superman was pissed now, and he quickly got up. But the young man had already fled the scene. "Darn. Who is that guy?"
<><><><><>
Back at the Justice League headquarters, Superman was drawing a rough sketch of the young man's face. "This is what he looked like."
"Your drawing is terrible. I can draw better." Batman informed him. Batman didn't really like Superman, and he always pointed out Superman's flaws.
"Well, I'm sorry. But I got a good look at his face through his mask. He was definitely a young Oriental male."
"Asian," said Wonder Woman.
"Huh?" said Superman.
Wonder Woman informed him, "Asian is the PC term, not Oriental."
"Ah, thank you. A young Asian male."
"I would have never used the term Oriental," Batman informed everyone.
Martian Manhunter commented, "That's nice, Batman, but how come we have never seen this villain before? And why was he robbing a mere grocery store? And most importantly, why are you dressed in a skimpy bikini, Hawkgirl?"
Hawkgirl, dressed in nothing but a white bikini and her familiar mask, replied, "I am dressed like this because I am trying to get laid."
Wonder Woman exclaimed, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, you goody two shoes ho. I'm trying to get laid. It's been so long since I've gotten some cock." Hawkgirl grumbled. "I don't understand, how come I can't get any loving from a man?"
Flash commented, "Maybe it's because you're such an ornery bitch."
"You faggoty faggot!" Hawkgirl tried to smash Flash into pieces with her mace, but he was too fast for her, of course. "You take that back! That's not true!"
Flash exclaimed, "Hey, just ask the others. They'll say the same!"
Hawkgirl demanded, "Well? Is it true?" The rest of the Justice League members looked at each other, then coughed politely. Hawkgirl screamed, "Fuck all of you uptight assholes! I quit!" She stomped out of the room, smashing several supercomputers along the way.
Flash scratched his head. "Maybe I was too hard on her."
Green Lantern shook his head. "Forget the bitch. She's always saying she's gonna quit. She'll be back." He held up Superman's drawing, which looked a lot like a smiley face. "A supervillain who robs grocery stores? I just don't get it."
<><><><><>
Hawkgirl stomped down the city sidewalk in Chinatown, wearing a big long coat. "Fuck all of them. I'm serious this time! I'm quitting for good. I don't know why I hung out with those losers, anyway." She then complained, "And to make things even worse, I'm so horny too!"
A nearby street bum croaked, "You horny, babe? I can help you out with your problem if you want."
"You? No way! I got standards!" Hawkgirl killed the street bum with a blow to the head. "Fucking chink."
"What did you say?" A bunch of young Azn hoods jumped down from the steps leading up to a tall apartment building. The apparent leader of the group said, "Lady, I think you're in the wrong part of town."
"Fuck all of you tiny dicked dipshits." Hawkgirl beat the hell out of all of them, except for one guy. He seemed hesitant to fight her. She demanded, "What's wrong with you, fucker? Scared of a girl?"
"Not really. I don't like to fight."
"Well, too bad, cuz I do!" She slammed a fist into his face, then she howled in pain as she damn near broke her knuckles. The guy didn't even look fazed by her attack. "What the hell!" Her eyes widened from behind her mask. "Shit, it's you! You're the guy that Superman saw earlier today!"
The guy gulped. "Oh man! I know where I seen you before. You're Hawkgirl from the Justice League!"
"Damn right I am." Hawkgirl pulled out her mace. "Maybe my fists can't do anything to you, but let's see what this does to you!"
"Sorry babe." The guy used his super strength to backhand her across the face, and she fell to the ground unconscious. He looked around. "Hell, now what do I do?"
<><><><><>
Hawkgirl woke up to find herself in a small and messy apartment. She was tied to a big pole in the middle of the room. "What's up, Hawkbabe." The young man was sitting in a chair nearby. "Sorry about this, but I gotta think about what I'm gonna do with you. You found out my secret identity, and I can't let you tell your Justice buddies who I am."
"I am going to kill you!"
"Hey babe, chill out! You started the fight! You beat up all of my friends!"
"Oh yeah. Sorry about that." Hawkgirl slumped in her bindings. "I've been having a bad day."
"Tell me about it." The young man asked, "What did Superman say about me? Did he ever see my face?"
"He has X-ray vision, you fucking idiot. Of course he saw your fucking ugly ass face."
"Damn, you have a bad temper! And I'm not ugly, you cranky cunt, I'm fucking hot as hell."
Hawkgirl took a moment to examine his face, and she commented, "Ok, I take it back. You are pretty good looking. But you're still a fucking idiot."
"Fuck you, bitch." The young man stared at her for a moment. "Why are you wearing a bikini underneath your coat? You on your way to a bachelor party?"
"What the fuck. You can see through my coat?"
"I've got X-ray vision, too."
"Just who are you?"
"I'm just a guy who's trying to make some money in the hood without getting caught."
"Just a guy?"
"Ok, I guess I'm a Superguy. Hey, you didn't answer my question, Hawkbabe. Why are you dressed in a bikini?"
Hawkgirl didn't answer his question, as she examined Superguy some more. Now that she thought about it, he was a pretty damned good looking fellow. He wasn't wearing much either, just long baggy shorts and a sleeveless cotton undershirt, and she could tell that he had a hot body. Hmmm. He'd do.
She asked Superguy, "Hey, do you want to have sex with me?"
"What!"
"You heard me. Let's let bygones be bygones. We should get to know each other a little better, you know, both of us being superhumans and all."
"Babe, you're gonna have to do better than that if you want to trick me into untying you."
Hawkgirl groaned. "Dammit! I'm never gonna get laid! I haven't gotten laid in three years, dammit!"
"What the hell. Don't you got a Hawkman in your life?"
"That fucking pencil dick broke up with me three years ago. I bitched about how he wasn't satisfying me in bed with his teeny weenie, and he got mad and left me." She then added, "I dumped him first, before he could dump me."
"Sure you did. Wow, Hawkbabe, I heard that you were violent, but they never said you were crazy." The young man stood up from his chair and walked over to her. "Hey, I see that one of your coat's pockets is lined with lead. How come?"
"None of your fucking business."
"I bet it's to keep guys like me and Supes from using our X-Ray vision to check out the pocket's contents, huh?" He rubbed his hands in glee. "So, let's see what Hawkbabe likes to hide inside her coat."
"Keep your hands out of my coat, you nosy prick!"
"Shoosh, babe!" Superguy stuck a hand into the coat pocket. "What the heck, you've got a lot of crap in here." He pulled out a large number of bags containing candy bars, potato chips, cookies, and various other snack foods. "Junk food?" Hawkgirl just glared at him. The young man asked, "Why're you hiding junk food in your coat?" She didn't answer, and he shrugged. "Ok, whatever." He stuck his hand back into her pocket. "Ah, I missed a couple things." He pulled out a ziploc bag full of kryptonite. "What the fuck is this green rock shit?"
Hawkgirl had been hoping that he would find her personal stash of kryptonite. But it became painfully obvious that the kryptonite had no effect on the young man. She asked, "Aren't you feeling tired? Dizzy? Light headed?"
"No, I'm feeling fine, thank you for asking." The young man pulled out a chunk of kryptonite from the bag. "Is this rock candy?"
Hawkgirl groaned. She was never going to escape at this rate. The young man ignored her groan as he set down the kryptonite. He rooted around her pocket some more, and he pulled out another ziploc bag. This one was full of peanut brittle. "Ah, I recognize this stuff. It looks like arrrgggh, peanut brittle! Noooooo!"
Superguy suddenly dropped everything and collapsed onto the floor, sweating profusely as his face became an unhealthy pale white. Hawkgirl blinked in surprise as she asked, "What's wrong?"
"Peanut... brittle..." The young man tried to drag himself away from the bagful of peanut brittle. "That shit drains... my powers..."
"What!" Hawkgirl thought this guy had to be joking. But as she watched, it became clear that the young man was in serious trouble. "I don't believe it! You really are suffering!"
"Kick... the peanut brittle away... from me... please."
"Let me go first."
"I can't... move..."
"Well then, that's just too bad."
He groaned, and his eyes shot out heat vision rays, just like Superman. The rays were weak and wavering, but they were enough to burn away the ropes around Hawkgirl's wrists. Hawkgirl immediately untied herself, then gave the young man a swift kick in the nuts. "You fucking prick! How dare you tie me up like that!" The man just groaned in agony. She then picked up the bag of peanut brittle and put it back in her pocket. "Ok, the bag's back in the pocket. Sorry about the kick in the nuts. I couldn't help myself."
The young man sat up and wiped his brow. "Whew! That was a close one. Thanks a lot." He stood up. "Ok, I'm gonna have to tie you back up now. I can't let you just walk out of here, you know."
"Sorry, buddy." Hawkgirl raised up a piece of peanut brittle. "I still got one piece here in my hand."
"Shit!" The young man fell to his knees, sweating once more as he clung to a sofa for support. "You bitch!"
Hawkgirl shoved the young man down onto the floor. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle."
"Huh?" Superguy gaped as Hawkgirl took off her coat, revealing her sensational bikini clad body. "Oh man, you really do want to have sex with me! Shit, if I'd known that, I would have fucked you silly!"
"Shut up. You talk too much." Hawkgirl set the piece of peanut brittle down beside him, and she took off her wings. Then she straddled his waist, flipping back her long red hair. "Ok, let's see what you got down here!" She slid down to his legs and unbuckled his pants. "Ooh. I like the looks of this." She pulled out a limp fat cock, and she began to play with it. "Mmm, you've got a fat one, don't you?" The young man groaned as she rubbed his hardening cock with relish, her eager eyes admiring the cock's girth. "I can barely fit my hands around it! And it's more than long enough for my tastes, mmm." She bent down to kiss and lick the bulging knobby head, and the young man groaned again, this time in pleasure rather than pain.
A rat scuttled across the floor, and at first, neither superhuman noticed its presence. Then the bold rat picked up the piece of peanut brittle on the floor and made its getaway. Superguy felt his strength surge back within him, and he sat up now to watch Hawkbabe suck his dick. She was really into it, she was pumping her hands up and down his length, playing with his balls, drooling all over his shaft. He caught his breath, then exclaimed, "Damn, babe, you're really good!"
She paused to inform him, "Of course I am!" Then she realized that he now had the strength to sit up. The peanut brittle was gone! The young man saw her hesitation, and then the two suddenly wrestled as they struggled to overpower the other. He easily pinned her, and she screamed in frustration, "Dammit! You're not going to tie me up again, are you?"
He thought about it, then said, "Nope." He then savagely kissed her, as his hands ripped away her scanty clothing. She struggled in resistance for a moment. Then she responded with primitive passion, sucking on his tongue as she wrapped her arms and legs around his wiry body. His hand was in between her legs, two fingers working hard inside her hot wet cunt, feeling for a sensitive spot on the ceiling inside. He knew he found it when the heavily panting Hawkbabe suddenly cried out loud. His fingers started to rub the area with zeal, and she trembled underneath him, panting hotly into his ear.
"Damn, babe, you're so hot, I can't believe no one's fucked you in the last three years." He picked her up and tossed her onto the sofa, so that she was looking up at him and his towering erection. "But don't worry, Hawkbabe, I'll take care of your little itch." She was too excited to say anything, as she spread wide open her legs and accepted his descending body. He settled over her, slinging one of her legs onto his shoulder as he positioned himself between her thighs. Then he plunged into her and began to pump pretty damned fast with his fat cock.
Hawkgirl gasped and tried to fuck him back, but his superstrong and superfast body was overwhelming, practically hammering her into the sofa. So she just laid back and enjoyed the ride, her hands playing with her tits as she watched Superguy's cock run in and out of her. He was just getting warmed up, apparently, as his motions became faster and faster, and he fucked her harder and harder. Soon his hips were a virtual blur, as a staccato of ass-slapping flesh-smacking sounds filled the air, and Hawkgirl was loving every second of it. She threw her head back, squeezed her eyes shut, and screamed nonstop about how big and hard his cock was, and how she was going to cum any moment now. Thanks to her superpussy's juice-generating superpowers, her cunt was generating large amounts of pussy juice to keep up with the unbelievable friction, and the sex was becoming amazingly sloppy as her oils spilled and splashed all over their joined genitalita.
After a couple minutes of the pounding, Hawkgirl could take no more. She let out a terrific scream, and her superpussy creamed all over Superguy as she came superhard. Her vociferous climax excited him to no end, pushing him over the top, and he came too with a yell, pulling out and firing several loads of his wad all over her chest. "God damn, baby, you are too fucking hot! Ugh!" He fired another spurt onto her.
"Mmm, you were lovely yourself." The sweaty Hawkgirl caught her breath as she reached out to squeeze his drooling cock. "So much cum, too," she slurred in a thick sultry voice.
"You ain't seen nothing yet, babe." He flicked his cock head a couple times, and it popped back up in full erection. "I'm not even close to done."
"You're not? Wooo!" She squawked as he turned her over onto her side, and he settled beside and behind her, already sliding his cock up in between her thighs. "Wait, let me catch my breath wowow! Yes! " She cried out as he started to fuck her again, plugging her cunt from behind. "Oh god yes, do me! Do me!"
Several hours later
A cum splattered and sweat soaked Hawkgirl woke up. She was still lying on the couch, still inside the arms of Superguy, who was lying behind her. She grunted at the gross feeling of the dried up crusty fluids on her skin, and she tried to sit up. He refused to let her go, however. "Going somewhere, babe?"
She struggled briefly against his iron grip, then gave up. "What are you going to do with me?"
"I'm not sure. You know my weakness, which is a bad thing. But you seem to be an all right chick, which is a good thing."
"Don't you ever call me 'chick' ever again!"
"Sorry, babe, I'll keep that in mind. You know, I've been thinking, I think you superhero guys are probably honorable guys. So, if I make you promise not to tell anyone about my weakness, maybe it'll be ok. I'll let you go, you'll go back to your Justice League buddies, and we'll go down our own separate life paths, or whatever. How does that sound?"
"That sounds fine. I'll promise not to tell anyone about your weakness, if you promise me one thing. Please use your powers for good, not evil."
"Oh yeah, huh." Superguy sounded sheepish. "Yeah, I should quit knocking off the 7-11's. But the economy's been shit the last couple years, I can't find a job anywhere."
"How did you get your superpowers anyway?"
"I don't know. I was born with them, I guess. My parents said they found me in some little rocket ship in the city park one night, so that makes me an alien or something. My parents are dead now, though. My dad got killed in a driveby shooting when I was eight. My mom died of an overdose when I was twelve. I been kinda making it on my own ever since."
"My goodness! I'm sorry." Hawkgirl patted his leg. "Why don't you become a superhero for hire? I'm sure you can make a decent living that way."
"No way. Not with my weakness. Once the supervillains figure out my weakness, I'm a goner. At least kryptonite is hard to find. Peanut brittle is all over the fucking place."
"Mmm. I see. At least try to find an honest job. You'll feel a lot better about yourself. Trust me."
"I'll see what I can come up with, Hawkbabe." He let her go, and he sat up, rubbing his tousled head. "Hey, you're a pretty cool babe, even if you are psycho. Are we cool?"
"We're cool." She stood up and started to gather her belongings. "Say, what's your real name anyway? Superguy just doesn't sound right."
"My name's Fok. Fok Yu."
"Fok, if you ever run into trouble, you can drop by the Justice League headquarters anytime." She gave him a business card. "You know what? How about you call me next week and let me know how you're doing?"
"Sure, Hawkbabe. I'd like that."
He grinned, and she thought to herself, "Mmm, he has a nice smile. What a cutie."
<><><><><>
Hawkgirl walked back into the Justice League headquarters with a bounce in her step. Everyone noticed it immediately. Flash asked, "Hey Hawkgirl, you're not still mad at me, are you?"
"Nope." Hawkgirl walked past all of them. "Anything bad happen today?"
Batman informed her, "We still can't figure out who this new supervillain is, because Superman is such a shitty artist."
"I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe this new guy isn't a supervillain after all, you know? I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." Hawkgirl walked off, humming a happy tune under her breath.
Green Lantern commented, "Well, I'll be damned. Hawkgirl is in a good mood?"
Flash said, "She just got laid, man. Can't you tell? She's got that glow about her."
"She did? Blast." Martian Manhunter snapped his fingers. "I was hoping I could shag her. I haven't gotten laid since my family died on Mars."
Flash said, "Why didn't you ask her earlier today, man? She was hot and horny and ready for action."
"I did ask, but she rejected me. She said she wanted to fuck a good looking guy, not some big green gumby."
Flash said, "Bummer, man."
Manhunter said, "You're telling me. I'm tired of whacking off to Hustler magazines."
Batman informed everyone, "Superman whacks off to kiddie porn magazines. I have video footage of him in the act."
Superman began to sweat profusely. "You can't prove anything!"
Batman held up a videotape. "Oh yeah? How about I pop this into the VCR for everyone to see?"
Superman suddenly grabbed the tape, stuffed it into his mouth, and began to chew. "Youf can't proof nuthin!"
"Hey! Give that back!" Batman started to batter Superman with punches and kicks, but the Man of Steel simply turned away and ignored him.
Wonder Woman shook her head. "Men."
The End. For Now.