The following story contains characters owned by DC Comics/Warner Bros. It is written as a fanfic parody story not intended to affect any use of actual story lines in published books. The story is purely for fun, with no profit to be made by the authors. It is free to be archived on any site wishing to do so, provided the authors are given proper credit.
During the run of the Batman TV show in the 1960's, Catwoman was introduced as played by Julie Newmar, much to the glee of drooling males in the viewing audience. When they made the Batman movie after the first season, Julie was not available. Lee Ann Merriwether was selected to play the villainess, and IMHO did a very creditable job. For season two, Julie was back in all her glory. When it came time to film the third season which added Batgirl, Julie was otherwise occupied again. To play the role of the felonious feline this time, the throaty Eartha Kitt was given the nod. As a way to try and show readers just how Catwoman was seen in three different forms in the run of the TV and the movie, I give you the story of...
Part 1
Even with her claws digging and scraping, her hand lost its hold...and with a caterwaul of terror, she plunged out of sight. Ten heartbeats later, they heard a SPLASH reverberating from far below.
"Catwoman!" shouted Robin. "Can you hear me? Catwoman!?"
"Catwoman!" came the echo. "Can you hear me? Catwoman!?"
"Greed is an overpowering emotion," said Batman as he coiled his Batrope. He put his hand on the youngster's shoulder, and added, "Come on, Robin; our job is done."
The swiftly flowing current of the underground river swept the body of Selina Kyle towards the waterfall. Within seconds, Catwoman's limp form was once again falling, this time through the starlit darkness towards the inky black ocean below.
Cold fresh air on her face revived the beautiful blonde woman. With cat-like agility, quick thinking and a lot of just plain good luck, the black-clad villainess had survived the plummet in the cave. As she fell, Selina had tied the loot bag full of gold and jewels to her right foot. This had allowed her body to align itself vertically and break the surface of the water feet first. She had lost consciousness and broken a few bones, but Catwoman had survived.
Once again she prepared herself for impact. Like her namesake, she hated the water, but despite those trepidations, Catwoman had trained herself to be an excellent swimmer and diver. Those skills were vital to her chosen career, and were a necessity that she abided no matter how much she abhorred the medium. Selina felt confident that her training, along with her superbly toned, Amazon-like body, would see her through this much shorter drop. She took deeper and deeper breaths to expand her lungs, then took one last big gulp of air before slipping like an arrow into the salty ocean with her arms close to her sides and her gorgeously curved body as straight as a nail.
KERSPLASH!!!!
This time, Catwoman remained conscious, but pain racked her battered body. She felt the loot bag beneath her touch bottom as her right foot sank into the satchel. It was now an anchor holding her to the sea bed. Working with that one last big breath, she had to bend down and untie the bag from her foot, secure it to her belt, and then somehow kick and claw her way to the surface with her heavy treasure in tow.
She estimated that the surface and life-sustaining air were some fifteen to twenty feet above her. Driven by a combination of fear, greed, anger and an undeniable instinct for survival, Selina did the seemingly impossible. Not only did her head burst forth into glorious air, she still had the lucre!
Furiously treading water with her chin just barely out of it, Catwoman quickly assessed her situation. Light pollution from Gotham City provided enough illumination for her to tell that she'd been flung out not far from the rocky shoreline. High cliffs met the waves for as far as she could see into the night. Catwoman realized, that in her present condition, even she could not swim very far with the cargo she was hauling. Selina decided to hide the treasure as best she could among the rocks.
To avoid being battered by waves as she worked to hide her loot, Catwoman stroked a bit more than absolutely necessary to arrive at a spot that was in a lee to the waves, and only had to contend with some raging eddies. She carefully made her way to what she thought would be a likely spot, and hoisted herself out of the water with her arms. As soon as she tried to put any weight on her legs, they collapsed. Selina carefully turned and put her fanny on top of a good sized boulder, and spread out a few of the rocks from a sitting position. She hefted her loot, and then tucked the bag tightly among the stones. Even if the tide rose or fell substantially, the treasure would be safe. Catwoman got the feeling that she knew what the pirates in days of yore must have gone through to hide their own treasures on more tropical shores. She looked around while clinging to a rock to try and get her bearings.
Selina realized that this stretch of ocean was not too far from the pier that held Ye Olde Benbow Taverne, a notorious waterfront hangout for Gotham City's criminal element. With the favorable current, she might just be able to make it near there. If she could, it would be much more likely that Catwoman would find someone who would help her (for money, of course!) rather than turn her over to the police.
Pushing away from the rocks with the strength she still had in her arms, Catwoman got out past the eddies and started slowly stroking towards her destination. The salty sea was very cold, which deadened her muscles but also kept her shockingly alert. She needed to get back out of the water soon, before hypothermia set in.
As time passed, the adrenaline rush attained during her escape from Batman and Robin subsided. Selina Kyle then realized that she was far more seriously injured than she'd first assumed. A gash on her forehead just above her mask was bleeding profusely, which brought up the thought, 'I hope there are no sharks in the area!' Her right ankle felt like it might be shattered, while at least one bone in her other leg appeared to be fractured. Each breath now caused a sharp pain in Catwoman's chest, perhaps an indication of cracked or broken ribs.
Catwoman smiled, 'I guess I'll find out if this cat really does have nine lives!' Into the night she swam, getting closer and closer to her goal, determined to survive. When she finally got to the base of the ladder, she had to practically haul herself up by her hands, since she could only just barely brace herself with her right leg. By the time she made it to the top, Selina was too exhausted to go inside for help. She crawled a few feet, then collapsed against the side of a car.
Foo Yung stumbled out of Ye Olde Benbow Taverne. The first signs of the impending dawn were appearing on the horizon. It was long past the legal closing time for Gotham City drinking establishments, but the proprietors of this place cared little for laws and regulations.
Foo Yung was not his real name. He was not even vaguely Asian-American. It was the name given to him by his new boss. After all the time he had spent in the Metropolis prison system, a new name was a small price to pay to work for the smartest villain in the world.
The henchman picked his way unsteadily along the wharf, towards where he was pretty sure he had left his car. Years of drinking had given him some tolerance to alcohol, and though he wobbled, he knew where he was going. "Ahh, there you are!" he said aloud, in a bit of a slur. He found his old junker on the pier, near a ladder that led down to the waters below.
He walked around to the front of his car. Foo Yung had parked so as to leave about two feet between his car and the edge of the dock; plenty of room to wander a bit once he got the car moving without worrying about going over the side. Suddenly, he noticed that some sort of dark but shiny object was piled up against the driver's side door. "What the heck?!" Foo Yung blurted.
It was a woman! A woman with long, wet, blonde hair...dressed in a costume that every lowlife in Gotham City would recognize in a heartbeat! Catwoman was leaning against the side of his car!
"Catwoman?!" Foo Yung asked, amazed at his discovery. Getting no reply, he observed that she had passed out. Even in his inebriated condition, the hood could tell that Catwoman didn't get that way from the same source he had; she was in pretty bad shape, with a lot of caked blood over a gash in her forehead. Lord only knew what else was wrong with her. He decided to lay her on the back seat of his car, and take the Feline Felon to his boss. 'He'll know what to do!' Foo Yung reasoned.
Selina Kyle awoke to find herself in a nice, dry, soft bed. Without moving her head, through half-shut eyes, Catwoman looked around. She was in a spotlessly clean room in which ovals seemed to be the dominant decor theme. Everything Selina could see was either white or yellow. Then she spotted an egg-shaped door opening, and the answer she'd been assuming was confirmed. She had only heard of him recently, and seen only two pictures of him, but the debonair figure with a shiny bald dome in the lab coat she saw could be none other than Egghead!
There was no longer any need for subterfuge, so as Egghead came closer to her bed, Selina opened her eyes as if awakening. She tried to shift her position in the bed, but found that she was restrained. Before she could utter a word of shock or question her condition, Egghead picked up a chart from the end of her bed and said, "Good afternoon to you, Catwoman. I hope you slept well after I treated your wounds, set your broken bones, wrapped your chest and bandaged your face this morning."
"Did you say afternoon, Egghead? The last thing I can remember was just barely making it up the ladder next to Benbow's, just before dawn." Then Selina's catty guile kicked in, and her face flushed just a bit. She may have further need of Egghead's aid, and buttering him up couldn't hurt. "I'm sorry, Egghead. Thank you so very much for fixing me up. I hardly know you, and yet you seem to have gone through a lot of trouble for me."
"For a beautiful woman such as you, my dear, I would go to eggstra lengths to make you healthy. One of my able-bodied assistants found you piled up against the side of his car just outside Benbow's, and even in his not-so-able condition he recognized you and had enough sense to bring you here to me." Egghead then looked down at his chart before looking back up into Selina's eyes.
"As far as fixing you up goes, however, I believe that I have some bad news for you, Catwoman. You will mend in time, but you pretty thoroughly took out both of your legs, what with a disjointed ankle on your right leg and a fractured tibia on your left. One rib was actually broken, without piercing the lung, while three others are heavily bruised. There was a bit of a concussion behind the gash on your forehead, and even your arms are showing signs of a bad pounding. I must say, it was incredibly lucky for you to be escaping from whatever situation you'd found yourself in via water, and not land. You would have been crawling on your belly, dragging both legs behind you, if you'd been on the ground. It would seem that you are going to be a special guest of mine for at least the next six months."
"SIX MONTHS?!" Selina almost screamed. "I can't stay inactive for six months. I've almost got Batman just where I want him right now, and if I don't keep at it, he'll run roughshod over any of our fellow criminals, especially the newer and less-experienced ones." Selina suddenly blushed, and lowered her eyes a bit. "No offense, Egghead, I wasn't including you in that new group; I know you can handle yourself in any situation." She was actually working on assumption, because she really knew next to nothing about Egghead's abilities.
What he told her next made Selina know that she'd assumed correctly.
"Well, that's not eggsactly a problem, Catwoman. The body that is bandaged and braced and set in casts on that bed is what will be laid up for six months. How would you like to get out of that heavily injured body and into a perfectly healthy one to continue your work?" Egghead raised an eyebrow, and saw Selina's mouth form a nice egg shape as her jaw dropped.
"What? How...?" was all she could get out.
"There is a device which I perfected two years ago that I lovingly call my Psyche Eggschange Machine. I'll have you know that I wasn't originally in this rather dashing body; after putting together my machine, I tested it on two of my yeggs, then put my own mind into this body and did away with the poor fool who was left with my short and fat body. I can put you into any body you desire, providing it is someone we can get our hands on and bring here to my lab."
"You would do that for me, Egghead? There has to be some kind of catttch," Selina purred.
Egghead put a very dignified, business-like look on his face, then answered, "I wouldn't try to restrain you in your activities, or make you do anything for me that you wouldn't want to, but I do require copious compensation for my work."
Without a hint of sarcasm, Egghead continued, "Call the work I did this morning the help any fellow criminal would give to another in need, but before I put you into another body to go back out into the world, I want $500,000 in whatever form you can manage to give it to me."
Catwoman could think of lots of other uses for Captain Manx's treasure, but if what she had planned paid off, giving Egghead a small portion of it would be like spreading kitty litter. "How would you like to have what could be worth well over $500,000 in gold and jewels, Egghead? I have a bit of a treasure that I found, which is how I got into this condition. A portion of it is yours, if you can get me out of here!"
The chart was set on the side of the bed, then Egghead walked over and sat in the chair next to Catwoman's head. "How could you question my wanting treasure, my dear? If you were to hand me cash, I'd have $500,000 to go spend or invest. Jewels and precious metals present so many opportunities for appreciation. I will be very happy to take an appropriate amount of treasure from you in payment. I presume you have this loot hidden somewhere?"
"The treasure is safely ensconced, Egghead. If you'll trust me to bring your payment once I can move again, you'll have your riches within a day. I'd tell you where to go find it so that you could get your payment before the transfer, but I think you and I both know why I'd like to keep its location a secret."
"Indeed I do, Catwoman. As soon as you decide whose body you'd like to occupy, I'll send my yeggs out to grab her. Your word is good for me."
Selina smiled, looking for all the world like the Cheshire Cat. "Give me a bit of time to think on that, Egghead. I want the new Catwoman to be someone special, not just any, uh, body. No matter who I become, though, I've kind of taken a liking to this figure of my own over the years. I want you to work with whoever we put in this body, and make it possible for me to switch back...eventually."
Once again, one of Egghead's eyebrows lifted. "So you'd want to return to this body once it is healthy again, eh? That is a bit of a surprise, but should not be a problem. It may increase the cost of our transaction, you realize."
"No problem, Egghead, no problem. With plans that are being laid this very moment, any payment you could possibly want will be yours for the asking. Now, give a lady some time to herself, would you, dear?"
Egghead patted Catwoman's shoulder gently, then said while rising, "You have all the time in the world, Catwoman. Just press the button near your right hand to call us when you're ready." Egghead took the clipboard off the bed and rehung it on the end, then went back from whence he'd come.
Selina spent a bit over an hour going over in her mind who a logical candidate would be for her to become. Movie and TV stars would be out of the question, because of the familiarity of their faces. Then she started to think of female athletes, since she wanted a body that was in good condition. None she could think of excited her, though. Her eyes closed ever so briefly before they sprang back open with so much life and vigor showing that no one would have believed this was a heavily injured woman. She pressed the button with a passion.
Moments later, Egghead came back into the room, a bit too casually for Selina's excitement. "You've thought of a person who appeals to you, Catwoman?"
"It struck me at the oddest moment, Egghead! Rich, a body to die for, physically fit thanks to all the work she did as Miss America three years ago, and good looking without having a face everyone would know the moment they saw it. Get Lisa Carson! She lives right here in Gotham City. I'll have the body of my dreams when you do."
"A very nice choice, Catwoman, very nice. I see you aren't shy on brains yourself, in making a decision of that magnitude in such a wise manner. Miss Carson will be meeting you in no time!"
Egghead went back out into the lab, and gathered Foo Yung, Benedict and Roll to his side. He gave them explicit instructions on how to get at Miss Carson, who was scheduled to be speaking at an afternoon social at the Gotham Convention Center. They were told to be sure and let her finish her speech, then take her away when she started to head for the exit. Egghead himself would be watching from nearby in the convention hall, and would step in to help only if needed.
Part 2
For one of the rare occasions in his life, Egghead had foregone wearing his usual white lab coat and donned a tuxedo. With his dashing good looks and the spiffy dress clothes, he blended right in with the rest of the males in the audience listening to Lisa Carson talk about the chances for the expanding roles of women in American society. He thought it very ironic that Miss Carson was expounding upon the fact that women were capable of doing so much more than they were presently allowed to do. If she knew just what her body would be doing soon, Lisa would think her other ideas were measly indeed. As Lisa gave her concluding remarks, she asked that any questions be held until an interview session that she would attend when the presentation was completed. The crowd rose and deafened her with thunderous applause, and then as the emcee thanked her for her speech and introduced the next speaker, Lisa stepped off the stage and through a door at the base of the stairs. The hallway appeared to be deserted, so she reached into her purse for a hankie to dab the sweat from her brow. Miss Carson was just about to reach for her compact to touch up her makeup when a larger handkerchief made of cloth appeared in front of her face and was slapped over her mouth and nose.
Foo Yung was careful to brace Miss Carson's body against his own as he held the chloroform-soaked handkerchief tightly over her lower face. This also effectively prevented any screams to issue forth from her mouth, even as her excited breaths drew more and more of the fumes into her lungs. In moments, he felt her body go limp in his arms. The volatile rag was placed in a plastic bag held by Benedict, then Roll went to her right side while Foo Yung moved to her left. They supported Miss Carson between them, with their arms crossed behind her back. Benedict followed carrying the bag and her purse, and for any eyes that might happen to spot them, the group appeared to be taking a slightly shaken Miss Carson for aid.
While everyone was still standing in the auditorium, Egghead edged his way through the crowd to a side exit. He excused himself to the usher at the door, saying that there was someone he needed to go see immediately. The usher waved him through, and Egghead made his way to the back door to which the hallway led. He got there with more than enough time to make sure the area was clear, and gave a hand signal to Foo Yung when the henchman's face appeared in the door's window.
Egghead's panel truck was parked only ten paces from that door, and in no time the sleeping Miss Carson had been removed from sight. All four guys doffed their tuxes, and replaced them with t-shirts and jeans. As the truck pulled away, it appeared to be nothing more than the average delivery vehicle being driven by typical working class Joes. Egghead's transition from upper-class patron to blue collar stiff had gone as smoothly as he'd timed it beforehand, and the panel truck was soon on its way with a very important delivery.
Selina was very carefully lifted from her bed and placed on a glorified gurney with padding that would make any hospital patient green with envy. She was then wheeled into the lab complex in Egghead's hideaway. When she saw the computer tapes whirling and lights flashing and all the different pieces of test equipment that seemed to fill the huge room, Catwoman knew that Egghead was for real. Never in her life had she seen or even heard of anyone other than a government or university lab having anything like this kind of setup. She saw Egghead standing near a hefty-looking module sitting on a table, with a beautiful woman sitting in a chair in front of him, her long black hair streaming down in front of her shoulders to rest on her abundant chest.
"You got her! Egghead, your ingenuity must be as canny as I've heard. Miss Carson looks like she is in perfect condition, without any sign of damage. This is the first time I've ever seen her close-up, and it would seem I made a wise selection!" Then Selina noted the straps holding Lisa's arms and legs to the chair. "If she is sleeping, why do you have her tied down?"
Egghead stepped out from behind the chair, and motioning to the sleeping beauty, said, "Miss Carson is still under the influence of the chloroform we used to knock her out at the Convention Center. It would not be healthy for either of you to do the mind transfer if one of you is asleep at the time. Lisa is going to be awakened, and will know exactly what is going on. I doubt she would agree to our proceedings, so she will be restrained from bolting. When the process has been completed, you will find yourself in a bit of bondage, Catwoman, but I will let you out of this seat immediately. Miss Carson won't be able to go anywhere in the bedridden body in which she will find herself."
Egghead placed a metallic band around Lisa's head that had connectors leading to the large box on the table. He then waved smelling salts under her nose. Lisa Carson awoke from her slumber, and knew right away that she wasn't in the hallway at the Convention Center. She was smart enough not to scream, and feeling the restraints on her arms and legs, looked up into the smiling face of Egghead. "Where am I, and why am I strapped down in this chair?"
"Always the calm, cool and collected ingenue, eh, Miss Carson?" Egghead said. "In mere moments, you will be doing something for society of which you could never have even dreamed. Do you see the woman on the bed before you?"
Lisa averted her glare and saw the strawberry blonde haired woman that looked like she'd been through ten rounds with a heavyweight boxer. Even though she was in multiple casts and bandaged heavily, there was a malicious grin on her lips. Was that actually a sneer? "Yes, I see her, but what could she possibly have to do with me?"
"My dear Miss Carson, in no time at all, she will have a lot to do with you. You see, she is going to BE you. You are going to be her, and heal her body while she uses yours to get on with her life. Since you both will soon be eminently in touch with each other, allow me to introduce you to Selina Kyle. I doubt you know her by that name, but perhaps you have heard of...The Catwoman?"
Egghead more or less ignored all the pleas of "NO! YOU CAN'T!" and the like which then started spewing forth from Lisa's lips while he put Selina's bed near the other side of the table with her head at the fore. He placed another band around Selina's head, then said, "Are you ready to start a new life?"
"Ready, willing, and eager!" she told him, then watched with glee as Egghead decided to shut off the mouth that wouldn't stop. He took a towel and wrapped it around the former Miss America's head, with her teeth splayed wide to accommodate it, then tied it off. Gagged, Lisa suddenly fell still, waiting for something that she couldn't prevent from happening to occur.
Without any melodrama at all, Egghead reached to his machine and flipped a switch. Both women's minds were sucked into the maw of the Psyche Eggschange Machine, where the device momentarily worked on sorting and rerouting, then reversed the flow and placed the ids within their new shells.
Finding her mouth unrestrained, Lisa said, "No, please don--." Her words were cut short as she heard an entirely new voice coming from her lips, then she looked at the body stretched out before her on the bed, pain issuing forth from all her appendages. She saw the dark blonde hair falling past her chin, then said, "Oh my God, you did it!"
"Yes, indeed, my dear," Egghead said as he removed the band from her head. "You are now Selina Kyle, and will be healing for at least the next six months. Now, if you will excuse me, there is someone still tied up and gagged who might want to be freed!"
He looked over at the brunette, and she was grinning even through the towel gagging her. "Oh, does that mean you enjoy the bondage and wish to stay in that chair for a while?" Egghead asked, with a note of sarcasm in his voice. She shook her head playfully, still grinning.
The first thing Egghead did was remove the band from her head, then he untied the towel. As he reached down to unclasp her arms, "Lisa" said, "She may be in the body of Selina Kyle, Egghead, but that name still belongs to me. I am the new Selina Kyle, and Lisa can continue to use her own name while she recovers."
With her arms freed, Selina then untied her own legs. She stood and stretched her newly acquired limbs. She noted right away that things like the chair and doors which were always a constant seemed to be slightly higher. "Now there's one thing I hadn't thought of, Egghead," she said. "I think I'm about three or four inches shorter than I used to be. I'm going to have to make some entirely new costumes. My lurex is pretty stretchy, but I think my present costume would be baggy in the joints and loose in the crotch!"
Egghead merely chuckled as Selina walked over to the now-bedridden Lisa. "As gorgeous as this body is, I've developed a liking over the years for the one you now occupy. I'll give you something to look forward to; when that body has become completely healed, and I've finished with the work I need to get done, we'll switch back. You'll have some interesting tales to tell, and your voice will probably be heard even more in your work to expand women's rights."
"Well, I guess that is one bright spot in this situation," Lisa replied. "I don't like what you've done, but since there's not a lot I can do about it, I'll look forward to the day that I look through my own eyes once again. I hope and pray that you don't do anything to harm my, well, I guess it's really your, body."
Selina tipped a finger towards Lisa, then waved as she went over to talk to Egghead. "To make this easier, what would you think if I were to put Lisa into one of my own Cat's Lairs for her rehabilitation? That way she'd be out of your hair, errr ... if you'll pardon the expression ..."
Egghead nodded graciously.
" ... and more easily watched by me. Also, just how much would you want if I asked to take that mind switcher back home with me?"
Egghead put on a grin that rivaled Selina's, and said, "I was hoping you were going to take charge of your old body. As beautiful as she is, this is not the place for her to recover. She needs another woman, not all the guys that reside here." He then leaned closer to her ear, and in a much lower voice, added, "I actually have a much more interesting device that is almost complete, which will make the Eggschanger almost obsolete. The new one will drain all the knowledge from any brain, to be added to my own. When you come back with your treasure, we will decide how much of it you may keep."
"You devil, you!" Selina purred in her new, deeper voice. "The first thing I'm going to do is get to Lisa's house and take care of a few loose ends. Then I'm going to get a much shorter hairdo, and make a costume that will fit. Watch for the new Catwoman to come back with your reward in another day or two!" With that, Selina spun on her heels and headed for the lab door.
Egghead signaled Roll, who was standing just outside that door, and he escorted Selina out of the hideaway and drove her to Lisa's house. Selina was thanking the stars that the contents of Lisa's purse had given her the basic info she'd need to act as Lisa for a short time. Selina and Roll were both familiar with the neighborhood that Lisa lived in, and found the address that was on her driver's license in no time.
As soon as Roll left her to her own devices, Selina sat down at Lisa's desk and penned a note to "her" father, wealthy socialite John E. Carson. Her handwriting was still Lisa's, so it would be recognized as the real thing. Selina had seen in the papers that John was vacationing in Japan at the time, so the letter she was writing would not be read until he came back in another three weeks. Mr. Carson would read that his daughter had become disillusioned, and gone to Europe to assume a new and simpler identity so that she could blend in and find herself.
Selina folded the note and sealed it into an envelope which she then addressed to Carson's personal post office box, where it would languish until his return. She then did a quick inventory of Lisa's goods to determine if there was anything she needed. Basic items like her underwear were a must for the time being, and quite a few of the dresses in her wardrobe appealed to Selina, so she filled a couple of trunks and suit bags. The rest was determined to be of no use, so Selina called to have the entire contents of the house put into storage. She then called a realtor she knew, and without telling him who she really was, told him that she wanted him to sell her house. She told him that she would be back in touch in a month to arrange for the transfer of funds resulting from the sale.
With the mundane details of closing down Lisa's life for the time being accomplished, Selina then went about the business of getting Catwoman back into action.
Her Kittens had been more than a bit surprised to hear a new voice when their boss called to tell them where to pick her up. When she easily proved who she was, they drove to Lisa's house with high expectations for a tale to explain what had happened. The trunks and suit bags were loaded into the truck, and the two Kittens in back that rode with her heard a story that was almost unbelievable. The two in the cab would have to wait until they got back to the Lair. The wait was a lot longer than they expected, also. Along the way, Selina told them to stop at a beauty salon which was known to ask no questions and tell no tales.
It was a much slinkier looking brunette who stepped out the door of the salon than the one who'd entered. Selina had her hair shortened to shoulder length, and styled with waves instead of hanging straight. She also had them do a make over on her face, so that anyone looking upon her would have great difficulty in seeing Lisa Carson. Where Lisa had been hauntingly beautiful, Selina was now brazenly sexy. Her beauty was still there, but was broadcast strongly instead of being only hinted at.
At the Cat's Lair they were currently using, Selina had the Kittens bring in the plunder from Lisa's house, then got out her sewing machine. There was an ample supply of black lurex on hand, and the patterns sized to her old body were brought out. She had work to do.
Part 3
That evening, it was a much darker haired Catwoman that made her way, via land this time, to the spot in the rocks where she'd hidden her treasure. It was quite a climb down the almost sheer rock cliffs, but her new body completed the task with surprising ease. Just as she'd planned, Captain Manx's treasure was still tucked away safely among the rocks, wet but with no sign of tampering. Before midnight, the gold and jewels were safely at home in her Cat's Lair. Egghead received a phone call the next morning, and since he'd given the phone number to only one person other than his yeggs, he knew to answer right away. "Henny's Egghouse, may I help you?"
Selina couldn't help but giggle before replying, "Eggie, you're too much! When can I drop in with payment for the new eggs I got yesterday?"
"Madam, we are open now, and would like to see you close to lunch time. There is a new dish you may be interested in obtaining, and can sample it during lunch. Can we expect to see you then?"
"I wouldn't miss a lunch invitation from you for anything, Eggie! I'll be there at 11:45. See you then!" Selina hung up before Egghead could make any more replies, and grinned at the thought that she'd used a nickname she'd been dying to employ since meeting him!
Over an admittedly scrumptious omelet, Catwoman worked with Egghead at divvying up the now dry treasure. Selina had been tempted to leave a good part of it at home, but her fears were relieved when Egghead took less than half of the total. He apparently knew more about their value than she did.
Selina worked with Foo Yung and Roll at moving the Psyche Eggschange Machine into her truck, then went back to Egghead inside, where he went through the hastily made instruction booklet he'd put together the night before. Since she would mostly be just throwing switches and placing the bands on heads, Catwoman didn't need a lot of technical info.
Lisa was back on the gurney, and had been rolled into the back of the truck alongside the machine which had robbed her of her identity. She could do nothing more than glare at it. When Selina came out to the truck, Lisa saw for the first time what Selina had done to change her looks. She was less astounded than fascinated. Lisa had never before considered trying to look sexy, even at the Miss America pageant and all the preceding events. When she got her body back, maybe a few changes would be in order...
Selina stopped at one of her lesser used Cat's Lairs to drop off Lisa. The two nurses Catwoman had hired, who'd lost their licenses for stealing drugs, took the injured blonde into their loving hands, and made her comfortable inside. They would work with Lisa for the next few months to get her back on her feet and into a fit and healthy form. What Selina had totally forgotten, and the nurses had no idea of, was that one of the costume closets in the Lair was not empty.
Before the month was out, Catwoman found herself in a situation she'd hoped to avoid for a while. She had an itch to get back into action, and along with her Kittens, made a run on a jewelry store shortly after it closed for the evening. There was a Cat's Eye Jade she'd read about that the store was holding. She wished to relieve them of the burden.
Lady Luck was not on Catwoman's side, however. A new security system she wasn't familiar with had been installed specifically for the jade, and while a rapid action camera took low light level pictures at a rate of two frames a second, an alarm was raised at the GCPD city desk. Three patrol cars were on the way in mere moments, and because of the value of the gems in the store, a call was put out on the Batphone.
The cops arrived long before Batman and Robin, and were clumsy enough to alert Catwoman and her cronies that they'd been discovered. Selina had her jade, so the rest was just fluff. She motioned for her Kittens to make a hasty retreat, and had almost made it to the door herself when another part of the security system dropped a bar in front of it, cutting off her escape. Tiger was looking back at her plight, but Catwoman waved him on; she had her plans for alternate escape routes, and would catch up with them later.
The first few policemen who saw Catwoman were unfamiliar enough with her that they merely saw the costume and assumed her to be the villainess. They slowed her down a bit, and it was as she was slinking out an air duct that the Batmobile came around the corner. Catwoman was briefly held in the glow of the headlights, and bared her claws in a vicious pose. This did little to influence the Bat team. As Batman leapt out of the Batmobile, he yelled to a rapidly running Selina, "We saw Catwoman die! Who are you?"
Selina couldn't resist. She turned her head briefly, and said, "I am the new Catwoman, Batman. Meeoooowwwwrrrrr!!!" With that, she disappeared from their view, making what seemed to them to be a classic Catwoman escape.
"Holy Recycling! A new Catwoman, Batman?" Robin said as Batman came back to the Batmobile.
"I'm not so sure, young chum. She looked different and sounded different, but the actions and motions she made were all traditional Catwoman. We saw Catwoman fall to her death, but now I have to wonder, did she really die, did she merely use up one of her cat's lives, or are we seeing a new incarnation?" Batman rebuckled his seat belt, then drove around to where the patrol cars were parked to give them the bad news.
The next day, Batman was in Commissioner Gordon's office reviewing the pictures taken the night before in the jewelry store. "She certainly is dressed as Catwoman, and all the movements she makes seem to match our old foe, but she certainly looks different. Note the dark hair, and the fact that she seems to stand a bit shorter next to her henchmen. Commissioner, I hate to say this, but it looks like somehow or other, Catwoman is back."
"Yes, indeed, Batman. This is a dire discovery. We will add the best of these images to our ID file."
Two months later, Catwoman was ready to launch her fantastic scheme. She got in touch with The Joker. She told him to get a hold of The Riddler and The Penguin for a meeting at 10 o'clock that night in the upstairs room of Ye Olde Benbow Taverne. She also told the Clown Prince of Crime that she had a bit of a surprise for all of them to see.
Once she was able to convince her cohorts in crime that she was, indeed, The Catwoman, she laid out her plan to kidnap Commodore Schmidlapp and his incredible invention. The scale of the enterprise immediately appealed to the egos of the three male super villains, as she knew it would. United Underworld was born.
The Penguin informed the group that he had already made inquiries to the Navy about acquiring a war surplus pre-atomic submarine. This fitted their plot perfectly, so Penguin was assigned the task of completing the transaction.
The three male super villains spent most of June and July out to sea, as they became novice sailors. Meanwhile, Selina was assembling some of Lisa's clothes at their new headquarters in the upper loft of Ye Olde Benbow Taverne. United Underworld had some grand plans, and Catwoman would be on the outside going undercover while the others were keeping things on track at their base. Besides the elegant clothes, she worked at developing the Russian accent she would use. Selina was glad that Lisa had become multilingual, and even though she herself didn't know the languages that Lisa had learned, her mouth and lips were still adept at working an accent. Kitanya Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisov was now set to do her work.
While Penguin, Joker and Riddler plotted and planned, argued and postured, Catwoman was out as Kitanya interviewing Batman while pretending to be a correspondent for a Russian newspaper, wooing millionaire Bruce Wayne, and all the while going out and about making herself a well-known foreign correspondent. Little did Selina know that she was getting up close and personal with her wished-for paramour, Batman, when she was cuddling with Bruce. Little did Batman know that he was falling in love with the one woman he'd done his best to admire, but never get close to in the past.
At the end of the adventure with the Commodore and the United World diplomats, when Catwoman's mask fell away from her face, Batman saw for the first time the face of the new Catwoman without any hindrances. He nearly gave away his own identity when he reacted at seeing the woman he had grown to love.
Lisa had been on her feet for six weeks by then, and the rehabilitation program the nurses had used had put the blonde into better shape than Selina had ever been. Her muscles were taut and sinewy without becoming unfeminine, her stomach was tight and flat, and the special diet she'd been on had added fat to her body which was stored in the hips making them even rounder, to her fanny making it look even sexier, and to her breasts, which seemed to have gained a cup size. Lisa was certain that Selina would be happy with the body she'd be getting back.
The nurses had not kept Lisa isolated from the outside world, and she saw and read about the exploits in which her body was involved. She'd recognized Kitanya right away, and had to give Selina credit for coming up with a crafty disguise that fooled everybody else. When she saw the pictures of Catwoman, she saw what her body was capable of looking like. Lisa grew envious.
Then, by sheer chance, on the same day that Catwoman had become unmasked on the submarine, Lisa went exploring in the Lair after her morning exercises. The nurses had gone to the rec room to watch soaps, so Lisa was on her own. She found a few empty closets, then discovered one that had a couple of black lurex costumes hanging in it. Since she was in Catwoman's old body, with a few new improvements, and these appeared to be Catwoman's costumes, Lisa decided to see what the blonde Catwoman looked like.
In no time, Lisa was decked out in shiny black. She was primping in front of a vertical mirror, hardly recognizing herself with the domino mask covering her face, when one of the nurses walked around the corner.
"Catwoman!? What are you doing here? ...Wait, you're Lisa, aren't you?"
"Meowwwrrrr! Do you think I make a good Catwoman? This is how she used to look, and hopefully will again, soon. It's a shame, though. I could get to like this!" Lisa placed her clawed fists on her hips in a power pose. "I could almost take her place!"
"Come now, Miss Lisa. You know Miss Selina will be keeping her own identity, and wouldn't like you trying to take her place. I must say, though, that you do make her look so much better now! Let's get you out of that costume now, and get you into some normal clothes. We just caught a news flash that Catwoman was arrested after a bungled attempt at world domination and ransom on a grand scale. For the time being, we'd better lie low here."
Lisa took one last longing gaze in the mirror, and sighed. "Okay, I see your point. They'd go nuts out there if another Catwoman were to suddenly appear. I wonder what will happen now? Will I be stuck in this body?"
"For both of your sakes, I sure hope not!" the nurse replied.
When Selina was taken into custody, her pictures were taken without any make-up. These made the front pages of all the Gotham papers, and a pair of eyes that had recently returned from yet another trip to the Far East did a double take when they saw them. John E. Carson now knew what his daughter was really doing, instead of going to Europe. No matter what she had been up to, John E. was not about to let his daughter waste away in Gotham State Penitentiary.
He was even more sure when he got a strange phone call at one in the morning. Lisa had waited to be sure the nurses were sound asleep before making the phone call she wished she could have made months earlier.
The next morning, Police Commissioner Gordon picked up the Batphone with a grave look on his face. It was answered in seconds. "Batman, wealthy socialite John E. Carson has filed a writ of habeas corpus in federal court for the release of Catwoman! Why on earth would he want to see her freed?"
"I don't know, Commissioner, but let's wait and see. Mr. Carson is a law-abiding citizen, and he must have good reasons. Both he and she will be right out there in the public eye."
Bruce hung up the Batphone and turned to the regular Gotham Bell phone next to it. John E. Carson was a friend of his, and he hit the number four on his speed dial. "Good morning, John E., Bruce here. I just heard on the news about your writ for the release of Catwoman. Can you tell me why you want her let go?"
"Good morning to you, too, Bruce. I'm hesitant to mention much before the court hearing, but that isn't Catwoman they have in jail, it is my daughter, Lisa! I just heard from Lisa herself, and I know this sounds confusing, but Lisa is in Catwoman's body, while Catwoman is in Lisa's body. Sorry I can't say more now, Bruce."
"That's okay, John E., I know what you mean. Judges don't like information leaking. Good luck!"
"Thanks, Bruce. Good-bye for now, see you later."
Batman now knew why Catwoman had proclaimed herself to be the new Catwoman. He didn't know how it was done, but a body switch did seem logical. He, or rather, Bruce, was definitely going to be in that courtroom.
Judge Whopper, the presiding judge, instructed Mr. Carson's attorney, "You may proceed, Mr. McMahon."
"Thank you, Your Honor.
"Your Honor, Black's Law Dictionary tells us that habeas corpus literally means, 'You have the body.' In no case in our nation's history has that definition been more true than in ours here today.
"Whereas the State of Gotham may have incarcerated the mind of Selina Kyle, otherwise known as The Catwoman, they have in custody the body of my client's daughter, Lisa Carson. Miss Carson is completely innocent. In fact, she is a victim! We demand that she be released!"
The tone of his words brought about a general uproar in the courtroom. The bailiff's glares and the judge's banging gavel had little effect. The cries for order were barely audible.
The one sound that could halt all other noise then emanated from the lips of the ostensible Lisa. Catwoman let out a loud caterwaul, and every other voice in the courtroom fell silent. Even the judge stared with an open mouth. Bruce picked that moment to slip out the door.
"Meowwwrrrr, darlings! What the lawyer claims is correct. I am Catwoman, that is true, but this is Lisa's body I am using. I propose a deal. If you let me go, and drop all charges, I will trade back with Lisa, so that she can get into her own body and I can get back into mine." Selina folded her arms across her chest, which still made an impressive sight, even in the grey coveralls, and put a Cheshire Cat grin on her lips.
The Judge banged his gavel one more time, just for effect, then said, "If we were to agree to your terms, how could we trust that you would do as you say and not just run off to do more pillaging and looting?"
The door at the back of the courtroom swung open just then, and a deep voice said, "Because I will vouch for her. I, for one, do believe that Miss Kyle would like to be in her own body, and I will make sure she doesn't bolt before performing the switch. After the switch is made, Catwoman would be free to go." The figure in grey and blue was known and trusted by all law enforcement officers, and almost commanded their acceptance of his word.
With his face hidden from view, Batman was hardly a legitimate entity in a courtroom, but the Judge knew a good thing when he heard it. The gavel came down once again, then he said, "This court remands Miss Kyle into the hands of Batman, to guarantee the conduct of the prisoner in the actions she has promised. Plaintiff and his attorney are to accompany them. Case closed!"
Selina convinced Batman that privacy was called for in the performance of the swap, since he believed her lie about the bodies needing to be nude for the process to work. Selina had one of the nurses do the switch flipping, and made sure the Psyche Eggschange Machine was hidden again before any questions could be raised. Seeing her own body for the first time in months, Selina smiled at the enhancements brought about by the rehab. When Lisa told Selina about her costume tryout just before the switch was thrown, Selina knew she had nothing to worry about with what Lisa knew. She was thinking that Lisa just might be the first female Kitten to join with her.
When the bands were pulled off their heads, Lisa was back in her now quite sexy body, and had no intention of going back to a dowdy look. Selina was back in her now pumped body, and in a plainly thankful tone, said, "Thank you very much for what you've done with my body while I was gone, Lisa. This is too good to be true!"
"That thanks goes both ways, Selina. I am in your debt for showing me what I can do with my own body. I hope we can stay in touch..."
The rest of that discussion is classified information...
As promised by the Judge and guaranteed by Batman, Selina walked out of the room a free woman. Her toy would be safe until she came back to retrieve it.
Part 4
When Selina put on her costume for the first time after the swap, she was more than pleased with the improvements made by Lisa and the nurses. The skintight material clung to her enhanced curves and shape, molding her in black. Selina had seen mannequins with fantasized figures that weren't as well built as she now was, and couldn't wait to show off in front of Batman. Maybe now she could better get his attention. Catwoman decided to open a school for cat burglars. Thus began a series of five adventures, including an ill-fated partnership with the European criminal, The Sandman, and a couple of fake reformations. She even rented use of the Psyche Eggschange Machine on a few occasions.
Selina became more and more frustrated, however. Not only did she keep ending up back as a guest of Warden Crichton, all her efforts to entice Batman ultimately came to no avail. Catwoman started to wonder about those rumors concerning Batman and Robin. 'No, that wasn't possible. Was it?'
Winter turned into Spring, which gave way to a long, hot Summer. By the time Fall rolled around, Catwoman had escaped from Gotham State Penitentiary once again. Selina decided to try to enjoy a night out strictly as herself.
She went to a nightclub renowned in Gotham City criminal circles. The place was a speakeasy during Prohibition. Subsequent owners realized that it could be more profitable to stay on the wrong side of the law. Gambling, prostitutes (of both sexes) and drugs were available to anyone willing to pay. The proprietors did, however, maintain another tradition started in 1920. They continued to book top-flight entertainment at high wages, open to all performers not too squeamish about where they worked.
At the club, Selina was drawing so many stares and had so many men hitting on her that she began to think going out was a mistake. She wanted only one man, and he seemed so unattainable. Selina, now an escaped con, was also discovering that many people knew who The Catwoman was. Selina started to toy with the idea of using the Psyche Eggschange Machine again, but with whom could she exchange bodies?
While she was musing, the announcer told everyone to welcome Tara Kaat, just in from the West Coast. Selina paid no attention until she heard Ms. Kaat's breathy, cat-like singing voice and looked up to see a tiny, incredibly beautiful, African-American flowing with motions that looked so much like her own. Selina's attention was locked onto this fascinating woman. She waited for the set to finish, then watched to see where the singer sat down.
Selina was smitten, captivated, infatuated with this woman! Selina might be The Catwoman, but this singer was a cat!! Selina just had to occupy that body!!!
Selina made her way to the table with two drinks in her hands. "Can I offer you something to wet your throat?" she said as she approached the singer. She noticed that no guys were at the table, or even nearing it. The thought went away as soon as it had appeared.
"That is one of the better pickup lines I've heard in a long time, honey! Thank you, yes, and please, take a seat. I'm Tara."
'Uh oh,' thought Selina, ' ... "pickup lines?"' As she was sitting, Selina said, "My name is Selina. I must say, I've never seen or heard your act before. You are incredibly good!"
As Tara was taking a sip of the Bloody Mary, she looked across at Selina, seeming to take her in. "If you think I'm good on the stage, would you like to see how good I am in the bedroom?"
Now she knew why none of the guys were coming to the table! 'But wait, this could be perfect!' thought Selina. 'If I want to get into her body, what better way than during a night "together?"' "When you're finished here tonight, can I bring you back to my place? I have some toys that will make it even more fun!"
Selina couldn't believe what she heard next. "Mrowwwrrr, darling, you just made yourself a date. I get free here in one hour. Meet me at the side entrance on 37th Street. It's lit to keep away muggers, but not enough to be obtrusive. Toys, you say? Mmmrrrowwwwrrrr!"
'My God, she already talks cat!'
On the drive to her nondescript hideout where Catwoman kept the Psyche Eggschange Machine, Selina made small talk while she tried to decide how she was going to get the band around Tara's head. Drug her? No, she'd be the drugged person after the transfer...and besides, Egghead had warned her that both people needed to be alert for a safe exchange. Just overpower her? Although Tara looked strong, the singer was so much smaller than Selina that Catwoman was sure she could physically restrain her...but... 'Hmmmmm.' Another idea flew into Catwoman's fertile brain.
"Tara, I have a bondage game I like to play...if you're interested?"
"Rrrrrrrrrrrrr. That sounds simply purrrrrrrrrrfect."
'Good grief!' Selina thought. 'This woman is nuttier than The Joker! I didn't think anyone was this reckless these days!'
At the hideout, Tara willingly hopped up on the gurney. She seemed absolutely delighted as Selina made the African-American's bonds as tight as possible. Tara's beautiful face showed no signs of fear as Selina wheeled her into the next room and up alongside the Psyche Eggschange Machine.
Catwoman had built special restraints into the gurney and the chair in which she would sit, so she could perform the switch without assistants. The shackle on one wrist attached to the gurney was set on a timer, so that it would pop open by the time the switch was made. That way, Selina, in her new body, could get free. Also, a loaded cat-dart gun was within reach, in case her old body gave her any trouble. Further, shackles on the chair would automatically snap into place over the wrists and ankles of her old body once the switch had taken place.
Now that there was no chance Ms. Kaat would escape, Selina decided to tell her captive what was going to happen. Selina told Tara about her Catwoman alter ego and the device attached to the singer's head. Instead of the expected screams or pleas for mercy, Tara surprised Catwoman with her response!
"Honey, I knew you were The Catwoman as soon as you came by my table. Among a certain elite group, you are not just well known, but deeply admired. Hell, where do you think I got the idea for my growl?"
Tara paused for a moment, and put a wicked smile on her face. "I know all about this machine. I'm glad to let you use my body as Catwoman. I hope, though, you'll let me do as I please while I'm in your body."
Overcoming her shock, Selina managed to joke, "Just as long as you don't do anything I wouldn't do! Please stay in touch, though. If, for any reason, I need my own body back, I'd like to have ready access to it."
Tara giggled in a throaty way that sounded seductive, and said, "Let's do it!"
Selina got out her patterns and really shrunk them down this time. In Tara's body, she stood a full seven inches shorter than before. Her closet was starting to look like a multi-sized costume shop. Small, medium and large Catwoman costumes: take your pick! The world took on a whole new perspective. She decided that one of the first things to change besides the costume size was to get some boots with a slightly higher heel to try and get some of her height back. It helped, but she still looked up at a lot of people. In particular, a certain Bat.
The strange thing was, Selina hadn't figured on Tara being a lesbian. When Batman first saw the tiny, new Catwoman, he wondered how she had become an African-American, and of such small stature, but assumed that Selina had been playing with her mind-swap machine again. When Catwoman saw Batman, she was looking up at him, but that was just it. She was looking up AT him, not to him.
Batman no longer caused any sparks to fly within her soul.
That new helper Batman had, though, was another matter.
Selina found herself seeing eye-to-eye with Batgirl, and lust was making her fall for the woman in purple! Just as her relationship had been with Batman, however, that didn't stop Catwoman from trying to kill Batgirl in delightfully devious ways!
Selina later discovered that Tara enjoyed switching bodies. Not only was it an interesting change to become tall and white after a lifetime of being short and African-American, but Tara learned that her new tall blonde persona was straight. Who knew that so much of sexual orientation was contained in the body?
This opened up whole new avenues of entertainment to her. Tara became a popular performer on the West Coast, where Selina's visage was not as well known. Her ample body made up for the fact that Selina's vocal cords didn't take to singing, and she found that the men who clamored for her company brought great pleasure. It was something new and exciting to experience feelings of which her own body was incapable.
Selina felt grateful for Tara's cooperation. When, for the second time, the "black cat" had been thrown in jail, she was willing to ask the prison authorities to let Tara have her own body back. This time, the deal was that Catwoman would have to return to prison, although again Selina was able to arrange things so that she was able to keep the exact location of the machine from Batman and the police.
Tara agreed to the ploy without any argument. She knew Selina would want her lithe, tight, little body again someday. Tara went back to singing, for the time being.
Now, when The Catwoman was on the prowl, Batman and Robin, Batgirl and the police never knew for sure just what version they would be facing: the original, tall, blonde Catwoman; the short, African-American one;
...or maybe someone new???