Wonder Woman, the Wolf, and Weird Science

Wonder Woman, the Wolf, and Weird Science

By Wittydom

“Can I help you pick up the mats?”

Tina Chang smiled at the boy who had been watching her martial arts class the entire evening. The last of her students had left, laughing and talking with the confidence she felt she instilled in them with each session. She liked to say that no victim ever walked out of her class.

“Thanks, that’d be great.” The boy had come in early, asking if he could observe her class. Not watch, observe. He was unfailingly polite, and never said a word during the class itself. Tina thought he was trying to decide whether or not to sign up. Probably a little shy. She had been tempted to give him the tour and the lecture, but decided to let her class speak for itself.

The boy folded the floor mats quickly and correctly. Tina made sure the door was locked, to prevent any more walk-ins from entering. It had been a long session, and she was ready to leave. “So what did you think of the class?” she asked him.

The boy finished and turned to her. “They’re very good dancers.”

She laughed, a little startled. “It’s funny you should say that. A lot of martial arts movements, and even whole styles, are adapted for dance. Like Capoeira.”

“Actually, in that case, it was a ritual dance that was adapted into a martial art, not the other way around. Its roots date back to some time after 1530, when Angolan slaves were brought to Brazil.”

“Wow. Sounds like you’ve really studied your martial arts.” Tina said. She looked him over again. Nothing too special. A typical twelve or thirteen year old, except perhaps for those large brown eyes, like an owl’s. She motioned him to the door, and he walked over and stood behind her. She turned to unlock the door to let them out.

“I have. That’s why I know your students can dance, but can’t fight.”

The insult was unexpected. She was accustomed to respect from all her students, especially in her own dojo.

“What?” Tina began, but as she started to turn to face him, she felt a foot kick into the back of her knee. The joint buckled and she fell to a kneeling position.. Before she could react, he grabbed her in a tackle and took her sideways so she was below the large window. His fist was against her solar plexus and the force of it made her lose her breath as she fell against it when landing on the floor. She tried to grab him, to toss him off of her, but he simply took her grasping arm by the wrist and pinned it in a hammerlock behind her back.

Tina squirmed, but had no leverage. “Be still” He said. He spoke as softly as he had when he asked if he could observe her class, but there was a different tone in his voice, as obvious to her ears as it was difficult to describe. She tried to answer, but she was still catching her breath.

She felt him unfasten her black belt from her gi and tie it around her wrist. Then he crossed her other hand over the first and began to tie her wrists together. Then he put one hand around her throat while his other hand grabbed her ponytail.

“Quiet” he whispered, peeking over the windowpane. She trembled, trying to regain her senses. How had this happened? And why her? Why not one of her students…

Suddenly his hands released her hair and neck and grabbed her ankle. He started dragging her across the floor with quick, jerking steps. Tina cried out in pain and tried to kick out with her free leg, but he began to move her around in circles and she couldn’t get the proper angle to do any damage. When he got to her office door, he opened it and shoved her through.

Tina heard the door lock behind her and turned to look up at him. “W-what do you want? I don’t have much money here. My students almost all pay by check.” The boy ignored her while opening up her cabinet, the one that held the various colored belts she awarded to her students to mark their progression. He grabbed the belts, chose a beginner’s white, and moved toward her.

“No, please dnggggghh!” she cried, as he tied the white belt into a gag around her mouth. Then he grabbed her hair and pulled her onto her desk so she was lying on her back. Her legs were still free, and she comtemplated attempting another kick until she saw the small knife in his hand.

“Five cuts for one kick” He warned, seeming to read Tina’s mind. She whimpered and stayed still. He took two more black belts and tied one around each ankle. A brown belt was wrapped over her eyes. There was a pause, and she heard him settle into her desk chair.

“That was disappointing.” She heard the boy say. “I only needed you to pass on a message, but I was hoping to learn something from you. I hope you won’t mind some constructive criticisms.”

What the hell was this, Tina thought. Was this boy going to rape her, or give her a lecture? She couldn’t decide which would be more humiliating. She felt his hand move under her gi, and then heard the tearing of fabric as his knife made short work of her sports bra.

“I think it’s false advertising to call your class a self-defense course. If your students get into a fight outside your dojo, their opponents aren’t going to wait for them to get back up after they knock them down. If you don’t teach them some ground fighting techniques, they could end up like you are now.”

Tina felt his hands move around her breasts in an almost clinical fashion, like a doctor checking for lumps. Even so, there was something erotic about it, and she felt her body involulntarily responding.

“And that goes both ways. If they knock their attacker down, they’re not going to wait for them to get back up and bow at him, are they? But you don’t show them how to take advantage of a prone opponent. I’d suggest firing that pretty boy assistant of yours. At least hire someone with a good amateur wrestling background.”

Now his hands left her breasts and moved in opposite directions. One hand moved to her mouth and tugged the gag off. Tina tried to say something but his mouth quickly covered hers. She tried to say something to him, but it was lost when his other hand, the one with the knife, cut off her panties. She heard the knife tossed away. Now his other hand was tracing her vaginal lips. She was ashamed at the wetness of her crotch, and this feeling got even worse when he gathered her moisture on his fingers and rubbed it all over her body, as if he were a masseur using lotion.

“P-please…” she managed. “I…I won’t tell anyone…”

“I know” he said between kisses. “You won’t report this to anyone but the person I tell you to. You’re welcome to tell the police, of course. But I don’t think reporting a sexual assault by a child will do wonders for your enrollment.” He kissed her again, and moved one hand to her breasts, pinching each nipple with great force.

“Oh! Oohhhhhh…” Tina felt the climax building in her body. It wouldn’t take much for her to explode now…

“No.” She felt his hands leave her body. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you deserve an orgasm.”

“Wh-what?!” Tina cried out in confusion and anger. “You can’t just leave me like this!”

“Just tell your friend Diana Prince that the Wolf prowls at Lexcorp. If she gets the message, and if you improve your techniques, I may come back some time and finish what I started.”

She heard him opening the door to leave. “You little shit! You think you’re some kind of martial arts expert, that you can just walk in here and - and…”

“I think nothing of the kind.” Tina heard him say. “Any female vigilante, superheroine, or decently trained policewoman would have beaten me tonight. Which makes your situation that much more pathetic.”

Later, Tina would kick herself for not even being able to hold back the tears until he closed the door behind him.

Wonder Woman’s thoughts were racing as she flew toward Metropolis. Tina’s phone call to Diana Prince had troubled her. She should have had known that something like this would happen sooner or later. After being captured by Wolf in their last encounter, he had interrogated her for hours with the aid of her own magic lasso. He knew her secret identity, her friends and associates. It was only a matter of time before he used that knowledge against her.

Wolf. The thought of the boy made her tremble. She wondered if she would ever be able to resolve the conflicting emotions she felt for him. Even during Tina’s description of the attack, her outrage had been tinged with lust. She could imagine the scene…

She shook her head to clear it. There were too many questions she had to answer. Even if she did stop Wolf, what could she do with him? Turn him over to the police? At best, he’d be tried as a minor and held in a juevnile facility. He wouldn’t hesitate to reveal the identites of herself, Huntress, and Supergirl during the trial. And he probably still had those videotapes. Her best chance was to reason with him. Huntress would call her naïve, but she still believed he could learn to channel his mind into helping people. That was part of the reason she was going alone: it was a subject the three close friends, and occasional lovers, could not agree on.

Wonder Woman landed in Metropolis. She would just have to defeat whatever trap Wolf had set for her at Lexcorp. At least it would be more difficult for him. For the first time that she could remember, she had left her magic lasso behind. Whether this was a shrewd tactical decision, or a concession of the lasso’s inherent dangers, she could not say. But if Wolf managed to capture her again, at least her mind would still be free.

The sun had been down for hours as Wolf waited in the office. His office, the other Lexcorp employees called it, but he felt no claim to it. The fact that he spent enough time in here for it to be considered “his” troubled him. He was losing his autonomy.

The agreement with Luthor had not gone as he had hoped. He had become less of a free lancer and more of a clock puncher. Wolf was supposed to work only on special projects, and have some degree of autonomy. But too often, the equipment that he needed was at Lexcorp, and despte several meetings with Luthor and others, he was still denied clearance for any use of Lexcorp resources “offsite”.

Meanwhile, more and more of his time was being taken up reviewing what could only be described as the “weird scientist” inventions of the R&D branch. Wolf would never be their equal at original design, but he could refine an idea, improve on it, and used a ruthless logic to point out flaws in their more grandiose schemes. Wolf was sick of this. He would try to capture Wonder Woman, and then he was out of here. At least Lexcorp paid well. He had several well stocked safehouses now, and he was ready to use them.

Wolf looked at the monitors which gave him a full view of the Lexcorp building. He hoped she would come tonight. If he had to look at the schematics of one more perpetual motion machine…

The light for camera eight started blinking. Wolf made some adjustments, and spotted Wonder Woman entering the building through the rear delivery entrance. She had added stealth to her repertoire, he thought. Good. She still wanted this confrontation to have a low profile. He began to hyperventilate, but not out of fear. He would need every bit of oxygen he could get for this trap to work.

The security guard had been almost too helpful, Wonder Woman thought as she made her way to the 33rd floor. But then, she knew this was a trap. And Wolf knew that she knew. So why try to disguise it with token resistance? She knew he liked to keep things simple.

Wonder Woman left the stairwell and crept down the hallway. A left turn led her to a hallway with clear glass doors at the end. Wolf was sitting at a desk, and looked up at her in apparent surprise. She took a step toward him, then stopped. The sliding doors were probably airtight. That meant gas, something that had overcome her too many times before. She took a huge breath before moving forward. Her lung capacity was much greater than a normal person’s, and she would not need to breathe for more than several minutes. That should be plenty of time, she thought, as she started running to the doors.

The first thing Wolf noticed when Wonder Woman appeared in the hallway was that she wasn’t carrying her magic lasso. Very good, he thought, as he pressed a button beneath the desk. The room began to flood with a knockout gas that Lexcorp had developed. One breath and she would be out.

The second thing Wolf noticed was Wonder Woman taking a large breath before entering. That was not good. What had tipped her off? No time for that. He had to make a quick exit.

Wolf stood from the desk as Wonder Woman started running towards him. His secret exit was in the rear wall, but she was moving faster than he had ever seen her. She easily pried the doors open, which snapped shut behind her. Wolf tried to duck around the side of the desk, but she reached out and grabbed him easily with one arm, pulling him close to her.

Wolf didn’t bother struggling. Any attempts would be futile. He had one chance to stop this. It would depend on how deeply she had been affected by her last encounter. He made eye contact with her and said “Come!”

There was a time when that one word from Wolf would have caused Wonder Woman to explode in an orgasm. He had trained her to come on command. But the many months spent with Supergirl and Huntress had loosened the grip of Wolf’s memory on her psyche. Wolf’s latest command did not send her into ecstatic pleasure.

But it did make her gasp.

That was enough. She sucked in the sightless, odorless, knockout gas that filled the room. Her grip on Wolf loosened as she fell to the floor. Her last conscious sight was of Wolf collapsing on her. He must have taken in some gas himself when he spoke, she thought, before falling unconscious.

Lexcorp used the most stringent psychological testing when screening potential employees. This procedure was so refined that its originators claimed that it was 99.9998% effective in keeping out any and all potential employees with undesirable mental traits, as defined by Lexcorp.

Clyde Spaulding and Douglas Barry were truly two in a million.

Clyde handed Doug another joint to celebrate another night of almost successful experimentation with their latest design. If they were ever discovered smoking weed on the job, Luthor would have them fired - or worse. But the security guards didn’t enter the lab anymore, after that unfortunate incident with the genetically enhanced cows.

“Dude, what’s with the security system?” Clyde asked after a deep inhalation.

Doug’s bleary eyes checked the computer. “Whoa! Someone activated the gas trap!”

“Cool. Punch it up and let’s see who it is.” Doug executed the search program and called up the images to the monitor. “Dude! It’s that Wolf dweeb!”

“No way!” Clyde exclaimed.

“Way! And he’s got Wonder Woman in there with him. They’re out cold!”

“Man, that kid gets all the luck. I am so sick of him badmouthing our designs!”

“Totally. Like, we create this totally cool dimensional transmogrifier, and all he does is nitpick.”

“Yeah.” Clyde imitated Wolf’s flat voice. “Does the transmogrifier create a new dimension, or find one whose characteristics match the input? Are the dimensions stable enough to travel? Why doesn’t it have an off switch?”

“Exactly!” said Doug. “Okay, granted, the off switch was a good idea. But he walks around like he owns the place. Someone should teach the little shit a lesson.”

“Dude. Are you contemplating what I’m contemplating?”

“We write ‘dork’ on his forehead in permanent magic marker before he wakes up?”

“No, better. We teach him a lesson AND settle our wager.”

Doug scratched his head until he remembered. “Awesome! But Wonder Woman will kick her ass, dude!”

“No way!”

“Way!”

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s find out!”

The dimensional transmogrifier, as Clyde and Doug had named it, was a remarkable piece of advanced technology. It worked on the theory that there were an infinite number of parallel universes. The dimensional transmogrifier found a universe with the characteristics you asked for, depending on what parameters you set.

Setting the parameters was the difficult part, as there were an infinite number of variations and permutations. Their breakthrough came when Clyde discovered a way for the transmogrifier to “scan” the characteristics of a sample universe. In theory, it could scan a VCR tape or DVD disk, and use those as its base parameters for the universe.

Clyde and Doug dragged the bodies of Wonder Woman and Wolf to the experimental lab. Doug set up the transmogrifier while Clyde had some fun with their subjects.

“Dude, I want some time with Wonder Woman before we send them off.” Said Clyde.

“No way, man. Your ex told me how long it takes for you to get it up when you’re stoned. She’ll wake up by then.”

“That was cold, dude!” He turned his attention to Wolf. “Heh heh. Dweeb prepared for launch, captain.”

Doug laughed. “Awesome! Let’s do it!”

They went into the obversation room and activated the transmogrifier. First, there was only a strange humming sound. Suddenly, a wormhole-like aperture appeared above the unconscious bodies of Wolf and Wonder Woman. A strange force sucked them up into the hole, which remained for about a minute before closing.

“Cool.” Said Clyde.

“Transmogrifiers rock!” Doug agreed..

When the wormhole opened on the other side, the bodies of Wolf and Wonder Woman were spat out onto the top of a steep, grassy hill. They landed on opposite sides of the slope and began rolling down to the bottom.

Some time later, Wonder Woman regained consciousness. She brought herself quickly to her feet and looked around. Wolf was nowhere in sight. Had he taken her here? And where was here? She began to have the strongest feeling of déjà vu she had ever experienced. This place was alien to her, yet she knew it well.

She climbed the steep hill nearest to her. Perhaps with a better view, she could get her bearings. The feelings of having been here before grew stronger as she ascended. When she was almost at the top she heard a large group shouting in the distance, followed by the distant pounding of hoofbeats.

When she reached the top, she saw a large army on horseback riding hard towards a small village. Marauders! The village looked to be nearly defenseless. Wonder Woman practically launched herself from the hill towards the village. She was suddenly sure of where she was.

Wolf awoke to the aches and pains of his body. He got to his feet, but staggered in the process. Something didn’t feel quite right. Were there some side effects to the knockout gas?

Then he noticed his surroundings and did a double take. The gas had many qualities, but as far as Wolf knew, hallucinogens were not among them. And where was Wonder Woman? He looked at the nearby hill. If he fell from the top, it explained the bruises on his body.

Wolf began the long, slow climb to the top when he heard the sounds of a battle. He quickened his pace, but the effort was costing him. Where was he? It was galling to be unable to answer such a simple question.

He finally made it to the top of the hill. In the distance, Wolf saw a large army attacking a small village. He did a quick full turn to examine his surroundings. The flora suggested Australia or New Zealand. Wolf turned back to the battle. The banner held by one soldier was written in Acient Greek. But the faint shouts seemed to be in English, and many of the armor and weapons would be anachronistic for that time period.

A figure plowed into the attacking army, tossing soldiers in all directions. So Wonder Woman was here, he thought. Had she brought him here? Or was someone else behind taking them to…wherever it was they were.

The sudden sound of one woman’s cry silenced the battlefield.

“Ki-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!”

And though it seemed impossible, Wolf knew where he was.

Wonder Woman was singlehandedly keeping the attacking army at bay. She was helped by their poor tactics. It seemed as if they waited to attack her one or two at a time when they surrounded her, instead of charging en masse. Still, she couldn’t be everywhere, and was concerned that the villagers would soon suffer heavy casualties.

Wonder Woman knocked another soldier out of her path and tried to make her way towards their leader, a thin blonde woman on horseback. Maybe she could break the army’s morale by taking her out of the fight. Then she was stopped in her tracks with a blood-curdling war cry:

“Ki-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!”

She turned to see two beautiful women appear on each of her flanks. The first was a tall, dark haired woman with fire in her eyes, wearing hardened leather armor. She tossed a chakram that took out several soldiers at once before miraculously returning to her hand. Then she did an incredible acrobatic flip into the middle of the fray, cutting through the soldiers like they were chaffs of wheat.

The other woman was shorter and a bit younger. She had short blonde hair and wore no armor, favoring instead a skirt and top that left her midriff bare. She wielded a quarterstaff with skill and precision, using the weapon’s length to keep the attacking soldiers at bay, and delivering solid blows to any who ventured too close.

Invigorated by the appearance of allies, Wonder Woman renewed her attack. The appearance of the two women seemed to demoralize the soldiers. Despite the attempts of their leader to rally them, they broke ranks. Their leader let out a scream of frustration and glared in hatred at the taller woman before joining the remnants of her retreating army.

For the first time, the three defenders of the village stood face to face.

Those pothead screw-ups had put him in a Xena episode.

Wolf couldn’t believe that even they would put his life at risk by subjecting him to such a dangerous prototype invention. Of all the programs they could have chosen…

He had Dom to thank for knowing what “show” this was. His former employer, who had died during his capture of Wonder Woman and her friends, had forced him to sit through an episode once. Xena and Gabrielle were adventuring companions (“Dykes, but they never show you that part”, Dom had complained) who travelled Greece and fought evil. Xena was a former evil warrior turned good, and Gabrielle was her sidekick and moral conscience. Their archenemy - Callisto, that was it - was the woman leading that attacking army.

His first priority should be to figure out a way to get back to his own world. This one was full of sword wielding warlords, and Wolf only weapon was the small knife he carried concealed in his shirt sleeve. His odds of surviving were not good.

But he knew what his first priority would really be. Ever since he first captured The Huntress, Wolf had found his true calling. Even though he was in an alien world, and still feeling what he thought were the effects of the knockout gas, he would not leave until he had captured them all: Wonder Woman, Xena, Gabrielle, and Callisto. Any one of them alone possessed incredible beauty. Together, the effect of their beauty seemed to multiply, not just add to each other. The idea of enslaving them all…

Well, he had wanted a challenge. Wolf allowed himself a small smile. This was more like it!

The tall woman smiled and extended a hand to Wonder Woman. “Thanks for your help. We were delayed by one of Callisto’s scouting parties.”

Wonder Woman took her hand as the shorter blonde beamed at her. “You saved the villagers. Who are you? And where did you come from?”

Wonder Woman was suddenly aware of how strange her costume must look to them. “Oh, my name is…Diana. I was born and raised here, but I’ve been…away…for a long time.”

Wonder Woman was indeed wondering about the inconsistencies. These women were speaking English to her. Yet this was Ancient Greece. Her bond to this place and time was deep in her soul. Perhaps later she would know why. For now, it was enough to be home.

“I’m Xena, and this is Gabrielle.” Gabrielle stepped forward to grasp her hand.

“You said you’re from Greece? What part?”

“I was raised by the Amazons.”

Xena smiled. “Then the two of you have a common link.”

“Oh?” Wonder Woman turned to Gabrielle. “Were you as well?”

“No, not exactly.” Gabrielle started to blush. “Well, I’m, technically, um, it’s a long story, but…”

“What she’s trying to say is that she’s the Queen of the Amazons.” Said Xena.

Something deep inside Wonder Woman stirred. The same part of her that knew this was Greece also knew for certain that this woman spoke the truth, though she had never met nor heard of an Amazon Queen with that name before. She immediately kneeled before Gabrielle.

“How may I serve my Queen?”

Wolf had followed the trail of the marauders to their camp. Callisto was still a target, but he would have to make an alliance with her first for his plan to have any chance of success. He had hoped the long walk would help shake the strange feeling he felt in his body, but if anything it was slowly growing stronger.

“Halt!” The two sentries drew their swords and pointed them at Wolf. Barely adequate, he thought. They should have spotted him several minutes ago.

“Take me to Callisto.” Wolf said.

The first sentry laughed. “What would Callisto possibly want with you, boy?”

“I have information. She wanted to know some new ways to torture guards who refused to allow messengers access to her camp.”

The sentries’ faces were a mixture of anger and fear. “All right, boy. We’ll take you to her. But for your sake, I hope you’re not the bearer of bad tidings.” The other sentry laughed.

“Clever,” replied Wolf in a bored voice. “May I go now?”

The sentry grunted sullenly and grabbed Wolf by the arm. He surveyed the camp as they walked. It was built for a much larger army than he could see. The attack must have cost them more dearly than he had thought.

Wolf was brought to a large cave lit by torches. Most of the men were here, their faces wearing the defeat they had suffered. Callisto was sitting on a makeshift throne that was probably some ornate chair pillaged from a wealthy household. She looked bored, or perhaps just lost in thought; Wolf couldn’t read her well enough yet. She glanced at him, then turned away in an act of dismissal.

“Why have you brought this whelp here?” Callisto asked the sentry.

“Forgive me, Callisto. He said he had information for you.”

“Oh, really.” She snapped out of the chair much faster than Wolf expected before landing on her feet in front of him. She smiled at him, but it had no warmth, only the predatory grin of a hyena. Still, she was beautiful. Wolf would love to see a gag in that cruel mouth, but that would have to wait. “And what would that be?”

“I can help you capture that village.”

Callisto laughed, and was joined by her men. “Oh, I’m sure with you leading the attack, Xena, that annoying blonde, and the woman with a bird on her chest will surrender on the spot.”

“That wasn’t the role I had envisioned for myself. Though I’m sure I couldn’t do any worse than the men in that brilliant frontal assault.”

The men got to their feet and angrily drew their weapons. One of them, a hulking behomoth with a sword as big as Wolf, stepped toward him. “Big talk from someone whose balls haven’t dropped yet.”

Wolf turned to Callisto. “This is your second-in-command? That explains why you’re not celebrating in the village.”

Before the behemoth could respond, Wolf turned back to him. “And I’ll bet my life I have bigger balls than you do.”

The big man grinned. “Nikolas accepts your wager” he said, thumping his chest. The rest of the men formed a circle around them. Wolf saw Callisto walk back to her throne, apparently content to give her men some entertainment.

Nikolas unbuckled his weapons belt and let his pants drop to the floor. He proudly brandished his private parts, getting a rousing cheer from the men. Wolf admitted to himself that it looked like a package better suited for a Clydesdale.

“Nikolas win!” cried Nikolas. Wolf hated people who referred to themselves in the third person. “I, Nikolas!”

“No, Nikolas forfeits.” said Wolf, distracting Nikolas with words to cover the movements of his arm. A flex of his wrist brought the hidden knife into his palm. With a smooth, fluid motion he brought the knife down and across Nikolas’ groin. The razor sharp blade sliced deep through his cock and balls before exiting the other side. The appendage seemed to fall in slow motion as blood spurted from the open wound. The men watched in stunned silence as Wolf picked up Nikolas’ organ.

“Nikolas lose. You, Nik.” Wolf tossed it to Callisto, who laughed as she caught it. Whether she was the only one who got the pun, or the only one who found Nikolas’ predicament amusing, Wolf couldn’t say. The important thing was that he would be heard.

“All right, little boy. If this plan is half as entertaining as that little stunt, you have an audience.”

Gabrielle stood awkwardly in front of Wonder Woman.

“Um, Diana? It’s okay. I mean, please rise.”

“Yes, my Queen.” Diana got to her feet.

“And please call me Gabrielle.”

“I’m sorry, my - I mean, Gabrielle. Have I offended you?” Diana asked, concerned.

“Oh, no! It’s just, well…”

“We don’t stand on ceremony here, Diana.” Xena said. She looked back att he villagers, who had gathered at the outskirts of the village to cheer their saviors. “We’d better get back to them. Callisto isn’t through with us yet.”

They began to walk back to the village. “Gabrielle, get the villagers together. We need to evacuate them back to the woods where it’s safer.” Xena said.

“Right.” Gabrielle turned to Diana. “Will you be able to stay and help us?”

“Of course, but…” Diana hesitated.

“What’s wrong?”

“Xena…Xena gives you orders?”

Xena and Gabrielle both laughed, and Diana immediately felt at ease in their presence. “Xena’s not an Amazon. And even if she was, there’s some things that are better left in her hands.” Gabrielle leaned toward Diana and stage whispered into her ear. “Besides, if I ordered her to cook for me I’d never get a decent breakfast.”

“I’m a good cook!” protested Xena.

“Yeah, right!” Diana laughed as she watched their playful banter. Such warmth and beauty. She wished her own world had heroines like these two.

Wolf began his long, indirect walk that would take him to the woods just outside the village. From there he planned to conduct surveillance. He would have to try to run into Gabrielle when she was alone. If Wonder Woman spotted him the plan was shot.

He had needed only a few items from Callisto: a change of clothes to blend with the natives, some rope and manacles, and an oversized bow that looked too big for him to use effectively. More important, she had given him critical information about Xena and Gabrielle’s past. Who better to learn about a show than from one of the cast members?

His “out of sorts” feeling continued. Wolf tried deep breathing, to remove any residual gas molecules from his lungs, but it wasn’t working. He was concerned, but in a world where leeches were still the apex of medical progress, there wasn’t much he could do about it. He had to deal with it, and move on.

It happened much sooner than he expected. He saw Gabrielle leading some women and small children deep into the woods. This would be perfect, if none of them went back with her to the village. He crouched behind a tree and waited.

She returned several minutes later, alone. Wolf stepped from behind the tree and walked to her at a deliberate pace, making no effort to be silent. Gabrielle turned, her staff at the ready, then relaxed when she saw it was only a boy.

“Are you from the village? What’s your name?” she asked.

“No. I’m Nikolas.” Wolf replied.

“Well, you shouldn’t be here. There’s marauders very close to us. We need to get you to safety. What were you doing here by yourself?”

Wolf made it a policy to tell the truth whenever possible. “I’m here to capture Xena.”

While Gabrielle took the women and children to safety, Diana and Xena walked through the village, discussing strategies to defend against the next attack. Diana was impressed with the sharpness of Xena’s mind. She was every bit as good a tactician as she was a fighter.

“We’re very grateful you were here to stem the tide today. You saved a lot of people today.” Xena said.

Diana smiled. “I’m just glad I could help.”

“I’m surprised I’ve never heard of you before. Someone with your fighting ability, and the strength of Hercules…”

Diana stopped, tensing. “Please, don’t compare me to that monster.”

“What?” Xena asked, surprised? “Hercules a monster? He’s the kindest man I’ve ever met.”

“But he…at least in my...” Diana stopped to take a breath. “Xena, I need to tell you something. I’m from Greece, but not your Greece. I…I came here, somehow, from another world. I know it must sound impossible, but…”

“Not at all” replied Xena. She raised an eyebrow and smiled. “It would explain your outfit, at least.”

Diana felt her face flush as Xena continued. “I’ve heard stories from Hercules about other worlds. Like ours, but with some differences. What did he do in your world?”

Diana told Xena of Hercules tricking the tribe of Amazon Women into being captured by his soldiers, and how they wore the bracelets to remind them of his deception.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Xena said. “He’s a very different man here. In our world, you share his strength…and his heart.”

She place her hand on Diana’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her hand lingered a bit longer than it needed to, and their eyes held each other for several seconds.

“Why would you want to do that?” asked Gabrielle.

“I was just an infant when Xena’s army raided Sysillon.” The boy said. “She killed my father. I promised his memory that I would bring her to justice. Once she’s had a fair trial, I’ll be at peace, whatever the verdict. If she won’t come peacefully, she’ll have to kill me. Because that’s the only way I’ll stop coming for her.”

The boy’s voice seemed almost unnaturally calm to Gabrielle. It must be his way of coping with the tragedy, she decided. She was torn by his story. She admired his stoic demeanor, and his attempt to place a man’s burden on his young shoulders. This wasn’t some hotheaded boy thirsting for revenge, or another Callisto in waiting. But she knew the person that Xena was now was completely different from the Xena that had devastated this child’s life. She couldn’t bear the thought of Xena having to spend her life in prison, or worse.

“Nikolas”, Gabrielle began, sitting beside him, “I can only imagine the pain of losing your father at such a young age. But Xena has dedicated her life to atoning for what she’s done in the past. She’s done so much good for so many…”

“Does that excuse what she did to my father?” The words hit Gabrielle hard, and she didn’t say anything for a minute.

“No. No, it doesn’t. But you don’t know her like I do. Maybe if you did…if I took you to her, and you got to know her, you might decide that locking her up isn’t the answer.”

The boy bit his lip in thought. “And what if I still think it is? Will she surrender to me?”

“I can’t speak for Xena”, Gabrielle replied, “but will you at least give her a chance?”

The boy hesitated, then nodded. He stumbled a bit as he stood. “Are you all right?” Gabrielle asked.

“I…I think so. It’s been a long journey.”

“Here, take my staff. You can lean on it.” She handed him her quarterstaff. “I’ll lead the way.”

“Thank you. You’re very kind.”

Gabrielle began to make her way back to the village. “I think when you meet her, you’ll see…”

She felt a hard blow on the back of her head.

Wolf’s attack should have knocked her out, but the strange feelings in his body were starting to become more uncomfortable. Or perhaps Gabrielle had been able to roll with the blow at the last second. Whatever the reason, the strike meant to take her out had only knocked her off her feet.

Wolf rushed to finish her off, but Gabrielle lashed out instinctively with a foot that caught Wolf in the knee. Wolf swiped down with the staff, but missed. Gabrielle grabbed the other end of the weapon and swung. Wolf let go of the staff too late and felt himself flung over Gabrielle, landing hard on his back.

They both stumbled to their feet and eyed each other warily. Wolf had to do something fast. If he didn’t turn this around soon, he was going to get his ass kicked by a fictional character.

Gabrielle had the staff now and started swinging, using the weapon’s reach advantage to keep him at bay. Wolf backpedalled until he reached a nearby tree. He ducked her next swing, and the staff jarred against the thick trunk. The kinetic energy shot through the staff and stung Gabrielle’s hands. Wolf launched himself into her midsection and felt the air whoosh from her diaphragm as he tackled her to the ground. Her head hit a small stone as she fell, and she lost consciousness.

Wolf wasted no time tying her with his rope. There was no time for artistry, so he settled for a simple hogtie and gagging her mouth. Gabrielle’s blows were adding to his pain, and he would have preferred to sleep for a week. But there was no time for that, either.

“Ares!” Wolf shouted. “I know you’re never far from Xena. I humbly request an audience with the great God of War!”

There was a flash, and Ares appeared before Wolf. Dom had told him that the Olympian gods often made guest appearances, and that there was a love/hate relationship between Ares and Xena. Ares looked like the basic tall, dark and handsome stereotype that many women went for, with an extra touch of danger in his eyes and demeanor.

“She’s not the only one I keep my eye on, kid.” Ares began. “You have some potential yourself. Nice touch at Callisto’s camp. I’m sure the Jews are grateful you don’t perform the briss.”

“Forgive me, Ares, but I’m in no condition to trade repartee’. I want to make an exchange with you.”

“And what does a little runt like you have that could possibly interest me?”

“I can capture Xena for you.”

Ares laughed. “You arrogant punk. You think I’d need a little boy if it were just a matter of capturing Xena?”

“First of all, I’m far more than a little boy, and if you have just a fraction of the omniscience you gods claim to have, you know that I’m not from around here.”

Ares glowered but said nothing, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Second, if I give her to you, she’ll come with a bonus: her undying loyalty.”

Ares smiled at the thought of it, then shook his head.

“I’ll do that soon enough. It’s only a matter of time before Xena submits to her dark side, and then she’s mine.”

“Is it me you’re trying to convince, Ares?” Wolf asked. Ares raised a hand as if to strike him. Wolf didn’t flinch., and gradually Ares lowered his hand.

“Just what are you proposing, boy?”

“I need just one thing from you. I’m guessing the ropes and manacles I have aren’t strong enough to hold Xena. I need something that can. Give me the chains of Hephastus.”

Ares glanced at the hogtied figure of Gabrielle and smirked. “You’re right; that would never hold Xena. The chains of Hephastus? Nothing else?”

“Not to capture Xena, no. But I have three conditions to doing this for you. One: you don’t get Xena until I’ve captured Callisto and Wonder Woman as well.”

“Who?”

“The one who aided them, also from my world. She may be going by the name Diana. Two: Use your godly powers to get me back to my own world. Three: I’ll take Gabrielle, Callisto, and Diana with me. You get Xena.”

Ares glared at Wolf, then laughed abruptly. “I was about to admonish you for thinking you had the balls to dictate terms to the God of War, but you seem to have a way of winning those contests. All right. But if you screw this up, the pain you’re trying oh-so-hard to hide with that stoic face is going to get so bad it’ll make Tartarus seem like the Elysian Fields. Got that?”

Wolf nodded. Ares looked at Gabrielle again, who was just beginning to stir. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. Happy hunting.” With that, Ares vanished.

Wolf moved quickly to Gabrielle to untie the gag. Many people who are knocked unconscious due to head trauma will vomit upon awakening, and Gabrielle was no exception. He held her while she threw up, cleaning her face with a rag. He should’ve remembered that before he put the gag on in the first place. It was dangerous enough for his body to be out of sync. Was his concentration slipping, too?

When she was finished, Gabrielle turned her head to look at him. Her eyes began to focus and she opened her mouth to scream. Wolf quickly covered it with his hand while shaking his head at her.

“You may speak, but keep your voice down,” Wolf told her, “I don’t want Xena to find us. Not yet.”

Wolf used his other hand to free some of the tangles from Gabrielle’s hair. The soothing effect of his touch helped her to calm down and relax, despite the awkward position she was bound in.

“Nikolas, why are you doing this?”

Wolf decided to continue with the ruse for as long as he could. “Your comments implied that Xena wouldn’t come willingly with me. I wanted to give her an extra incentive.” He began to tend to her wounds as best he could, contenting himself with making sure that none of her cuts or bruises were serious.

“You…you’d kill me if she doesn’t surrender?”

Wolf cradled her head in his hands. “No. I never kill what I catch.” He lowered his lips to hers. “But I don’t throw them back, either.”

Gabrielle felt his lips on hers, softly at first, then harder with more energy. She tried to turn away, but his hands had a firm grip on her hair, keeping her head in place. No one had tried to kiss her like this since her husband dies, she thought. And as his kisses continued, varying in force, location, and duration, she corrected herself. No one had kissed her like this, ever.

Then his hand wear tearing her top off, and she gasped. “Nikolas, no! You’re…you’re just a boy.”

Wolf stopped briefly and sighed. “I get that a lot.” He replied, stroking her cheek with a finger. “Still, better that than ‘You can’t do this to me! I’m a superhero!’”

“What?” Gabrielle asked, confused.

“Never mind. Where were we…” Wolf said, as he removed the rest of her top. Her breasts appeared larger when bare. This was true of all the women Wolf undressed, but it still gave him the thrill of discovery, like a child playing with a jack-in-the-box or a gardener watching a flower bloom.

His mouth moved to her breasts, teasing them with his tongue. He used long, circular strrokes with his to encircle her breast, slowly moving upwards in a spiral pattern until he reached the stiffening nipple, which he struck with quick flicks, like a lizard catching flies, that made Gabrielle moan softly.

Wolf began to explore her stomach with his left hand. It was flat with surprising strength in the abdominals. He traced a fingernail down to her navel and burrowed his finger into it, like a worm finding its home. He used his nail again to trace the line across her stomach just abover her skirt. Back and forth, never dipping more than a fraction of an inch below the fabric. Gabrielle’s breath became ragged, and her body started to tremble.

When Wolf removed her skirt, there were no protestions beyond incoherent mumbling from Gabrielle. He began to take off his own pants, then paused. She was a fictional character, after all. Could he really get her pregnant, or catch something from her?

Well, she could sure give him a real enough beating, so a disease probably wasn’t out of the question. He sighed and spread her legs as far as the hogtie would allow. Oh, well, plenty of time for that when he got her back to his world, a world full of condoms and antibiotics. For now, it was her turn.

His finger traced her vaginal lips in a slow, clockwise circle until it returned to the top. He moved up a fraction of an inch and rested it on her clitoris, which made Gabrielle cry out. Time for the gag again, he thought as he stuffed it into her mouth with the other hand. His finger moved down again before entering her, burrowing in the same motion he had used when playing with her navel. This time her reactions were much more visible - and loud, even with the gag. His other hand wrapped around her chest and fondled a breast while pulling her close to him. He whispered softly into her ear “Anytime you want”, and her body was wracked with spasms, the gag barely muffling her orgasmic cries. He made comforting noises in her ear that set off the first of several aftershocks. When she finished, he removed the gag and held her until she fell asleep.

After completing their plans for the defense of the village, Xena and Diana shared a light meal of fruit and bread. Diana told Xena all about the world she was from, and was very open about her past - except for Wolf. But she found it harder to get Xena to open up about herself. She was vague, and gave as few details as necessary to answer her questions.

Diana didn’t think Xena’s reluctance meant that she didn’t want to talk about her past, only that it was difficult for her. She decided to try another tack.

“Why does Callisto want to destroy this village?” she asked Xena.

“The village is incidental to Callisto. It’s the bait to try to hook Gabrielle and I.”

“Then why does she want to destroy you?”

“We have…a history together.” Xena swallowing a piece of fruit without really tasting it. “Look, Diana. You’ve always been a hero to your people. Gabrielle’s heart has always held kindness. But I haven’t always…I once travelled a different path.”

Diana sat next to Xena and put an arm around her shoulder. “I won’t think any less of you, whatever you tell me.”

Xena’s eyes flashed in anger. “How can you say that, when you’ve no idea of what I’ve done! I was a killer, a monster! My own actions made Callisto what she is today!”

“No, Xena. Whatever you did to Callisto, she’s chosen her own path as well.”

“But what of the others? I made so many suffer…the dead were the lucky ones. They didn’t have to deal with the aftermath of my destruction.” A single tear fell down Xena’s cheek. “That’s why it’s so hard for me to talk to you about it. It was difficult enough with Gabrielle…and without her, I might have gone back to the person I was!”

Diana held Xena close to her, and let the tears fall. “I understand more about how you feel than you realize.”

“You can’t”, cried Xena. “You’ve never done the things I did.”

“Not exactly. But I’ve done some things I’m very ashamed of.” Xena looked up in surprise. Diana struggled with what to tell her. She felt she could trust Xena with her life, but not with her secret - not yet. “And the worst of it is that part of me enjoyed it, and wants to do it again. That’s what burdens you the most, isn’t it? Not what you might have done without Gabrielle, but what you might do again in spite of her.”

Xena said nothing, but her expression made it clear that Diana was right. Diana kissed Xena on the cheek. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, and then their lips did, too.
The kiss was long and slow, with each woman clinging to the other’s hair as if clutching a liferaft while drowning at sea. As Diana moved her mouth lower to kiss the hollow of Xena’s throat, Xena tilted her head back and opened her eyes. Everything seemed so right. A faint breeze blew through her hair. The setting sun was casting a shadow of the two women entwined as one…

The setting sun.

“Gabrielle!” cried Xena as she bolted uprgiht, jostling Diana in the process.

“What?” asked Diana. A look of anxiety crossed her face. “By the gods, I’m so sorry. Are you and the queen - I mean, Gabrielle…?”

“No, it’s not that. I mean it is, but not exactly what…” Xena shook her head in frustration. “That’s not what I’m talking about. She should have been back by now. I have to go find her. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Said Diana as they stood. “I’ll help you find her.”

“No. You have to stay here.”

“But she’s my queen!” protested Diana.

“Someone has to stay to protect the village.” Xena replied. Diana nodded. “Of course. May Athena guide you to her quickly.”

Gabrielle was still sleeping when Ares appeared again, this time carrying a long length of chain. Wolf tried to silence him with a look, but Ares just smiled at him. “I see you kept her happy without using the old quarterstaff.”

Wolf ignored the jibe. “Is that the chain?”

“One of Heph’s finest creations. I’ll just drop it here for you…”

Wolf jumped to his feet to grab the chains before they could clatter to the ground. “She’s still sleeping!” he hissed.

“You’ve got bigger problems than the blonde’s beauty rest, kid. I figure Xena will be in your neck of the woods, oh, any second now. Good luck.” Ares vanished again.

“Mmmm…what?” murmured Gabrielle. Wolf ran to her nude, bound figure.

“Hush”, he ordered. Wolf took the gag and tied it around Gabrielle’s mouth. Her eyes widened in fear. Wolf kept her hands bound behind her back, but loosened the ropes around her legs. “This way.” He said.

Wolf grabbed her by the hair and led her to a large boulder that overlooked a footpath leading to the edge of the woods. He was just able to hide Gabrielle and himself behind the rock when he heard Xena’s voice calling out.“Gabrielle! Gabrielle, can you hear me?”

Wolf peeked over the boulder and waited until Xena was in sight before responding. “That’s far enough, Xena. Any closer and Gabrielle dies.”

He had hoped the woods would make it hard for Xena to pinpoint their location, but she was too alert. It felt like she was looking right at him.

“If you have her, you’ll let me see her!” Xena shouted.

“You’ll see her when you throw down your sword, whip, and chakram.”

Xena was sure the voice was coming from behind the boulder. She did as she was told, tossing the weapons in a pile to her right. If whoever was doing this thought she was defenseless without them, he was in for a rude surprise. “Now let me see her!” Xena said.

A fist pulled Gabrielle’s head out from beihing the boulder, while another hand held a knife to her throat. Gabrielle was gagged, but she looked relatively calm. Xena knew that Gabrielle believed that she would find a way to get her out of this. Her faith warmed her heart, but she had no time to think about it now.

Whomever had Gabrielle was being smart in keeping himself concealed, so Xena was surprised to see his face peer out from the side of the boulder. It was a boy! Not much older than her son was…would have been now. “Why are you holding her? What do you want?”

“I’ll tell you when you take off your armor, so I know you’re not carrying any concealed weapons.” The boy looked scared, but he still held the cards as long as that knife was at Gabrielle’s throat. Xena started to remove her armor. As she did, she listened to the same story Wolf had told Gabrielle. The words hit her hard, coming so soon after she had bared her sould to Diana.

“What’s your name?” she asked him.

“Nikolas.”

“Nikolas, I’m very sorry for what happened - for what I did - to your father.” Xena took off her last piece of armor. “What do you want me to do?”

“Put these on.” The boy tossed a long length of chain over the boulder. The links landed at her feet. “When you’ve wrapped yourself in them, I’ll take you back for a trial. If you’re the hero Gabrielle says you are, you should be prepared to face justice!”

“Why should I believe you, Nikolas? You’re holding a knife to the throat of an innocent, threatening to kill her! How just is that?”

“I’ll accept the penalties for my crimes if you do the same, Xena. You took a loved one from me. I want justice for his death, but I’ll settle for revenge.”

He sounded like he meant it. Xena picked up the chains and examined them. They looked ordinary enough, which meant she should be able to slip out or break through them without much trouble. “Okay, Nikolas. You win.”

Wolf watch Xena subtly tense her muscle groups before she began to wrap the chains. He was impressed. It was an old escape artist trick. You tensed your muscles when you were bound, so when you relaxed them there would be some slack to work with.

It was what he would have done in her position, even though it would do her no good. Or it wouldn’t, if the chains worked as advertised. The possibility of failure was the reason Wolf had stuck to his cover story: should Xena escape, he would surrender and beg forgiveness for a well-meaning but misguided youth. Of course, that would carry more weight if he hadn’t already molested a still naked Gabrielle. Idiot! He was definitely slipping since he had come to this world.

“I’m finished.” Xena said. She had wrapped herself from head to knees in chains. If they didn’t hold her…

“We’ll be right down.” Wolf tied a rope loosely around Gabrielle’s neck to use as a crude leash. “Let’s go.”

When Xena saw the boy leading Gabrielle down the path, naked, bound and gagged, her blood boiled. Justice? What a sick joke! It took all her self-control to keep from slipping out of the chains right then. But if she did that, the boy might be able to hurt Gabrielle before she got to him. Let him come to you, she thought.

The boys stopped a few feet from her, with Gabrielle still in tow. He looked Xena up and down. “That’ll do. I’ll just need another leash for you.” He sheathed his knife and pulled out a length of rope.

“Don’t bother,” Xena replied. “You won’t have time.” She relaxed her muscles - and the chains constricted to her new contours.

Fighting panic, Xena pulled and twisted, using all her strength to try to break free. It was useless. But how? Only one chain could prevent her from escaping like this…

“The Chains of Hephastus! But where did you get…?” Then Xena felt that familiar tingling sensation inside her, and she knew. “Ares!” she hissed.

Ares made his usual dramatic appearance. “Xena! What a surprise.” He gave her an appreciative look, glanced at Wolf, then turned to Xena again. “Hate to break this to you, Xena, but even the blonde put up a better fight against the kid than you did.”

“I’ll admit I was taken by surprise. I thought even you would never sink low enough to need a child to fight his battles for him.”

Ares glowered, but quickly covered it with a smile. He turned to Wolf. “Well, you’ve come through on part of your bargain, but…?” Ares raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I’ll tell you when I’ve finished what I’m here for. Until then, she stays with me, as per our agreement.”

“All right, kid. But I don’t have to remind you that the sundial is rotating. Don’t take too long. As for you, Xena, we’ll be seeing each other very soon.”

The now familiar vanishing of Ares left the others in silence. Wolf sat down in a heap soon after, pain and fatigue showing on his face.

“All right, Nikolas. What’s this bargain all about? What are you two planning?” Xena demanded.

“You can call me Wolf. Ares is probably planning to enjoy the show. As for me, I’m planning to kill some time before the signal.” He tied Gabrielle to a nearby tree before walking back to Xena. A quick kick to the back of her knees buckled her to the ground. Still using his feet, he shoved her onto her back.

“Wolf, whatever Ares is offering you, it isn’t worth it. You can’t trust him.”

Wolf knelt beside her and took a long look. Beneath the armor, she wore only a simple brown dress that ended above the knee. “One nice thing about being here is that it gives me a chance to brush up on my languages.” He gingerly lifted the hem of her dress above her waist.

“Stop it! You’ve no right to - mmmph!” Wolf wasted no time in applying a gag to Xena as well. When he finished, his hands moved to her inner thighs. The magic chains responded, allowing him to part her legs ever so slightly.

“For instance, the ancient Greek word for ‘beauty’ would be spelled like this.” Wolf lowered his face into Xena’s crotch and exhaled through pursed lips. Xena’s back arched as the rest of her body buckled. Wolf applied his tongue to her pussy, tracing out the correct patterns to spell the word. Xena’s fists balled helplessly at her sides while her toes involuntarily curled.

“But the Latin would be spelled this way.” Wolf went to work again, taking his time with each stroke. Xena moaned into the gag. She tried to gain enough momentum to turn onto her side, but Wolf straddled her torso to prevent her from moving.

“This must be how that cunning linguist joke got started.” Wolf mused. “Let’s try a few others, shall we?”

By the Sumerian word for passion, Xena was moaning louder into the gag. By the Babylonian word for ecstasy, she could feel a layer of sweat cocoon her body. By the Hebrew word for amorous, she was having trouble breathing. By the Chinese symbol for eroticism, she could feel the pressure building between her legs. By the Celtic word for orgasm, she knew that one more word would make her do just that, again and again.

Wolf paused to wipe his mouth clean. “Let’s see…I wonder how the Romans would translate ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’?”

Xena’s gagged pleas went unheeded. In every language Wolf knew, Xena failed to make it past the second “i” before she came again. And again. And again…

When Xena mercifully lapsed into sleep, Wolf turned to Gabrielle. She had watched the entire spelling bee with wide eyes that seemed to be in a hypnotic state. Wolf looked at the sky and judged that it was just before dawn. He made sure Xena was also firmly bound to a tree before preparing to signal Callisto.

Diana had tried and failed to get some sleep during the night. Time and time again she ventured toward the edge of the village closest to the woods, only to pull back. She couldn’t leave the village defenseless, and Xena and Gabrielle could certainly take care of themselves. But what could be keeping them? Xena seemed to think another attack was imminent. She wouldn’t stay away this long unless…

Diana’s eyes caught a strange light moving through the darkened sky. It landed in a thatched roof of a villager’s hut. A flaming arrow!

“Fire!” she cried out. The few remaining villagers ran to the well, but the roof was already ablaze. A decent wind could end up razing the entire village. Diana had to act fast. She leapt onto the edge of the roof and used her strength to start wrenching it from the rest of the house. When it was completely separated, she threw it as far as she could, and it sailed out of the village and into a nearbly clearing.

The scout ran into the cave. “Excuse me, Callisto. There’s been a fire spotted in the village.”

Callisto smiled. “That’s our cue. We ride on them now! Archers, take positions with range of your bows. The rest of you, with me!” The men hurried to their horses.

Xena and Gabrielle saw Wolf return from his arrow shot. “I can understand being foolish enough to deal with Ares. But you must be insane to ally yourself with Callisto!”

“I see your gag slipped loose, Xena. I’ll correct that before I leave.”

“Please, Wolf, listen to me! If Callisto gets her way, those villagers will be slaughtered. Don’t you care about them?”

Wolf fitted the gag more securely into Xena’s mouth. “A little. I don’t care for wholesale slaughter. Don’t worry. When Diana’s through, there won’t be enough of them left to be a threat to the village. As for Callisto, she and Diana will be joining you shortly.”

Wolf tried to run to his rendevous point with Callisto’s archers, but his body was beginning to fail him. He settled for a fast trot, and hoped that he would make it in time.

Diana tore through the soldiers with a fury born from desperation. What had seemed to be another frontal assault was turning into a one-woman counterattack. Before long, Diana felt as if she was pressing their lines farther and farther back.

As the battle continued, she started to believe that their tactics were deliberate. They were throwing themselves in front of her, sacrificing themselves to get one or two blows in before she tossed them aside. They were trying to wear her down and keep her from Callisto at the same time. Then they’d count on their leader to take her down when she was tired and wounded.

After what seemed like an eternity, the last footsoldier fell to her punches. She watched Callisto dismount from her horse with a smile on her face. “Not bad. Love the outfit.” She drew her sword and advanced on Diana. “I’ll see that you’re buried in it.”

A limping, wheezing Wolf arrived at the archer’s positions. “What’s happening?” he asked between ragged breaths.

“Callisto and the woman just started to fight.” The archers had their bows ready. Wolf surveyed the battlefield. He had been right: these six archers were the only members of Callisto’s army that weren’t casualties.

“Good. Now remember, as soon as Callisto’s able to grab Diana’s wrists, fire those poisoned arrows.”

“What, all at once?” asked one of the archers.

Wolf stared at the man. “Yes, all at once. What were you planning to do, take turns?”

“But we might hit Callisto! Shouldn’t we wait for a clearer shot?”

“You’ll never get an arrow past her bracelets. Don’t worry about Callisto. You can tell her I was at fault if this fails. Meanwhile, shoot them all. And let me sort them out.”

The archers would not normally have obeyed Wolf, but the emasculation of Nikolas had won him newfound respect.

Diana was finding Callisto to be every bit her equal. While she couldn’t hope to match Diana’s strength, her martial arts attacks were as punishing as they were unorthodox. She was also a bit quicker than Diana, but couldn’t absorb punishment quite as well as Diana’s Amazonian physique could.

They battled back and forth across the field for what seemed like hours. Both women were hurting from painful blows inflicted by the other. But Diana was encouraged by Callisto’s apparent frustration. On more than one occasion she had put distance between herself and Diana, then waited, as if expecting something to happen. When nothing did, she would snarl and leap back into the fray.

Now they were wrestling at close quarters. Diana grabbed Callisto by both wrists, but Callisto was able to reverse the maneuver by leaping above and behind Diana, breaking the grip and taking Diana’s hands in hers. Callisto delivered a painful knee into Diana’s spine.

Suddenly Diana heard the familiar sound of arrows in flight. She moved her wrists forward to block them but Callisto still had hold of her hands. Two of the arrows grazed Diana’s arms, and she felt her vision began to blur.

“Leaving so soon?” Callisto taunted as she delivered a roundhouse to Diana’s face. “That poison is fast-acting. You’ll be out for hours, and I plan to enjoy every minute of that time.”

Before Diana blacked out, she heard the sound of another arrow in flight, followed by a cry from Callisto.

Wolf had done it.

He was currently bathing Callisto, who was naked and bound by the Chains of Hephastus to a fallen tree trunk. Wolf was careful to stay out of range of her mouth, at least until the gag was back in. It surprised him how fragile and delicate she looked when stripped of her clothing, weapons, - and authority. At first she had screamed and spat at him when he began her bath, but soon she had settled into contented murmurings and purrs. Wolf didn’t buy them for a second.

“Mmmm…right there, please”, cooed Callisto as Wolf gently scrubbed between her breasts. “You know, we would make a great team. With my skills and…ooh!…and your knowledge, we could bring the world to its knees. Why settle for that blonde strumpet and Eagle Chest? If we worked together, you would have your pick of women. Vestal Virgins, Helen of Troy…all bowing at your feet. What do you say?”

Wolf paused to rinse the cloth. “I say that once I get you to my world, we’ll see what the best in drugs and modern behavioral modification can do for you. If you’re still psychotic, I’ll put you to sleep myself.”

He gagged her, cutting off her furious reply. The archers entered the cave. “You wanted to see us, Wolf?”

“Yes. I know you’ve been eager for your reward. Here she is.” He gestured to Callisto, who fired daggers with her stare. The men, eager to get laid and have a little revenge on their old boss, began to undress.

“Wait!” Wolf ordered. The men reluctantly stopped and faced him. “I have some ground rules.

“First, bring no weapons near her when you go to have your fun. Second, two men must keep her covered with their bows at all times. Third, and most important, the gag stays in. You don’t talk to her, you don’t let her talk to you, you don’t bring her water, you don’t even clear the vomit away if she throws up. Any questions?”

One archer raised his hand. “But do we have to leave the gag in ALL of the time?”

Wolf didn’t need this right now. He was feeling worse than ever. “What?”

“Well, I mean, me and some of the guys, well, we had plans for that mouth.”

Wolf stared at each and every man in the room. None could hold his stare for more than a second or two. “One question, gentlemen. Haven’t you all seen enough severed penises the past two days?” The men nodded, their eyes still lowered. “The gag stays in. Now enjoy yourselves.”

He left the cave to look at his remaining captives. Wonder Woman’s simple pair of manacles were enough to render her powerless, as he had placed them on her bracelets himself. Her ankles were also attached to a long chain that ran around a standing tree trunk.

Wolf was particularly proud of the bonds for Xena and Gabrielle. They were chained on opposite ends of a very wide, thick, standing marble column the army had salvages from somewhere. They faced each other, yet the column prevented them from seeing each other. Wolf had used ordinary manacles to bind their outstreched arms together. Xena could easily escape, but only by pulling Gabrielle’s arms out of her sockets. He had left their gags off, to hear their pleas. But when he refused to divulge any further information about what would happen to them, they remained mostly silent. He thought he heard them whisper words of comfort to each other, but he couldn’t be sure: his physical senses were beginning to betray him as well.

Perhaps Wonder Woman could cheer him up. He wanted to compare her talent to Supergirl’s.

Wonder Woman’s bonds made the kneeling position almost mandatory to avoid discomfort. She looked up at Wolf and was surprised by how poorly he looked. He was pale, haggard, and his normally smooth movements were betrayed by occasional odd tremors in his limbs.

“Wolf, you really don’t look well.”

He tried to wave it off. “Just some side effects of that knockout gas from the building. It’ll be okay once I get us home.”

“Home? How will you do that?” She asked.

“You’ll know soon enough.” He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back. “Tell me, Wonder Woman. Do you remember the night I had the three of you together?”

“Y-y-yes. I remember.” How could she forget?

“When you finished getting each other off, I had Supergirl service me. You remember how you felt when you saw her crawl to me?”

Her body trembled as she played back the scene in her mind. “Yesss…”

“Tell me how you felt at the time.” Wolf said as his fingers rolled around in her hair.

“Relieved…and…and…jealous.”

Wolf dropped his pants. “I understand. Well, you get your turn now. Don’t waste it.”

“Yes, Sir.”, she replied. Her task would be more difficult than Supergirl’s, who had the luxury of having her hands free at the time. Wonder Woman would only be able to use her mouth to please Wolf.

She started slowly, teasing the tip of his cock before moving her tongue around his balls. She felt Wolf’s hands instinctively grab her hair again, as if he were trying to crush the strands with his fists. This propelled her to pick up the tempo. She began stroking the underside of his penis while moving his organ in and out of her mouth. He began to swell to a very respectable length for a boy his age.

Wonder Woman kept the tension for as long as she could. Then she began sucking in earnest. He would be ready soon, she could feel it.

“Swallow every drop.” She heard him command, but could only mutter “Mm-hm” in response. His cock spasmed, and she felt him come in her mouth. She swallowed and licked at the residue on his shaft and balls. She tentatively glanced up at Wolf. For a moment, at least, she had been able to give him pleasure…and some peace. The thought pleased her more than it should have.

“Has she had enough? Or are you going to serve seconds?”

Wolf’s brief bliss crashed down around him. He turned to see a grinning Ares give him a “thumbs up” sign.

“Where’s my portal?” Wolf asked.

Ares shrugged and motioned his head over to Xena. “Where’s my loyal slave?”

“All right. Let’s get this over with.” Wolf seemed to stutter step as he walked to the pile of Xena’s weapons. He picked up the whip and walked over to the pillar that Xena and Gabrielle were chained to. Wolf stood between the two women on one side of the pillar.

“Xena, from now on Ares will be your master. You will obey him with your mind, heart, and soul at all times.” He recited the words in the bored manner of a child giving rote answers to an oral test.

Xena’s smile was without humor. “You’ve been reading too many fetish scrolls.”

“That will be one lash for speaking without permission, one for not addressing your superior as Sir, and one for a general lack of respect.” Wolf replied.

Xena spat at his face. Wolf didn’t bother to wipe it off.

“Let’s double that to six lashes.”

“You could be Hercules and still not have the strength in your arm to whip me hard enough to call Ares my master.” Xena said in a low voice. Ares looked annoyed. “Is that the best you can do to her, kid?”

“Twelve lashes”, Wolf told Xena. He raised the whip over his head. Xena tensed her body for the first blow…

CRACK!

Which never came. Suddenly Xena heard a scream. Gabrielle was writhing in pain, her wrists that were manacled to Xena’s moving her arms up and down.

“You were right”, Wolf said. “But I never said the lashes were for you.”

CRACK!

Gabrielle screamed again. Xena was stunned into silent horror, and she could not take her eyes away from Wolf.

CRACK!

“No!” shouted Xena, as Gabrielle began to cry.

Wolf paused to look at Xena. “If that wasn’t the first word of the sentence: ‘No words can describe how sorry I am to have disrespected you, Sir!’, then I’m going to double it again to twenty-four lashes.”

CRACK! Now Gabrielle was sobbing in pain.

“No! No…no words…can describe how sorry I am…to have disrespected you…Sir!” Xena choked back tears between every word. When Gabrielle heard Xena break down in submission, she cried much harder than she had from any of the strokes Wolf had given her.

Wolf addressed his words to Ares while he continued the whipping. “You thought you needed to get Gabrielle’s influence out of Xena.” CRACK! “In fact, you need to make sure it never leaves her.” CRACK! “As long as Xena knows that Gabrielle bears the punishment for any of Xena’s misdeeds, she’ll serve you willingly.” CRACK! “Isn’t that right, Xena?” CRACK!

“Yes, by the gods, yes sir! Just please don’t hurt her anymore…please, Ares…master…”

Ares looked in awe at Xena. He had never seen her so utterly defeated. “Why didn’t I ever think of this?”

“Probably because you’re syndicated instead of on a premium cable channel”, muttered Wolf.

“What?”

“Nothing. Would you mind finishing the whipping? I’d just like to get through my portal, take my women, and go home.”

“Certainly.” Ares pointed at the sky, and a surge of power flew from his finger and seemed to tear a large hole in space itself. “How many in your party?”

Wolf thought for a minute. “Three. Somehow I think Callisto would be more trouble than she’s worth.” The truth was, in his current state Wolf was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to control her. And unlike Wonder Woman, Callisto would not allow him a second chance.

Xena said “Ares…master…what’s going on?”

Ares smiled. “You are a fast learner, I’ll give you that. Just a little deal we cooked up. The kid wanted to take Diana and Gabrielle with him, in exchange for the key to your loyalty. Don’t worry, I’ll be able to contact him if you ever disobey me.”

“Wolf, you can’t!” cried Wonder Woman. “You can’t separate Xena and Gabrielle! They’re meant to be together! Can’t you see they’re soulmates?”

“Soulmates?” Wolf walked over to Wonder Woman and whispered in her ear. “They’re not soulmates. They’re the lead characters in a TV show with a cult following.”

Wonder Woman looked confused. “You mean there’s a television show based on their lives?”

“No, their lives were created for the television series! You mean you never heard of Xena, Warrior Princess before we came here?”

Wonder Woman shook her head. Wolf rolled his eyes. “There’s more to TV than PBS, you know.”

“But if it’s a TV show, how can we be here?”

“It’s a long story. This dimension we’re in IS the TV show. We just travelled…travelled here.” Travel. Why did that word seem so important?

“If I can interrupt your secret conference, kid, we still have some loose ends to tie up.” Ares said.

“What do you mean?” Wolf felt like he was dying. He wanted to wrap this up and go home.

“Well, you don’t want Callisto, which is fine. And you do want the mousy blonde, which is also fine. But I’ve kind of grown attached to Diana as well. I think I’ll keep her here, in case Xena ever needs a playmate.”

“No!” cried Wonder Woman. “Keep Gabrielle with Xena! Send me back with Wolf instead. Their love is pure. At least let them stay on the same world!”

“Not your call, Di”, chuckled Ares. Wolf stood up straight to face Ares, and even that was a considerable strain on his body.

“You’re reneging on our deal”, he told Ares.

“Reneging’s such an ugly word. I prefer the term ‘renegotiating’, myself. Besides, you’re really in no condition to dispute it. And your ‘window of availability’ for travel isn’t going to last forever” Ares said, pointing at the hole in the sky.

“I can’t argue with that.” He released Gabrielle, who appeared to have passed out from the whipping.

“Don’t even think about a rescue, Xena” Ares warned as he refastened the manacles onto her.

“No, master. Please, I’ll do anything if you let her stay…”

“You’ll also do anything to keep her from harm. You offer me nothing I don’t already have.”

Wolf looked at the hole in the sky while he supported Gabrielle in his arms.

Travel…travel…

Are the dimensions stable enough for travel?

Then it hit Wolf: he had been asking Clyde and Doug the wrong question. He should have asked “Are WE stable enough for dimensional travel?”

That’s what was causing his weakness, his tremors. This dimension was rejecting him, like a foreign particle in a bloodstream. If he stayed, he would die.

And if that was true for him in this dimension…

…then Gabrielle would die with him.

That must be the answer. But why hadn’t Wonder Woman been affected? Perhaps it was her unique connection to Greece in any form. Perhaps her superhuman physique could resist the changes, or simply took longer to be affected. Gabrielle had no such protection.
He had to make sure she stayed, as Ares looked like he was going to send her away out of spite, if nothing else.

“Ares, this isn’t fair. If I only get to take one, it should be Wonder Woman.”

“Forget it, kid! She’s mine now! Kiss her goodbye.”

Wolf shoved his fists into his pockets, sulking. Then he scratched his nose. “All right, I will.” He started walking toward Wonder Woman.

“What in Hades are you doing, kid?” Ares demanded.

“You said yourself I could kiss her goodbye.” Wolf mumbled.

“Well, I am a god of my word. All right, but then you two are out of here. I have a couple of slaves to train.”

Wolf knelt by Wonder Woman and gave her a deep, open mouthed kiss.

Wonder Woman felt the piece of metal pass from Wolf’s mouth to his. It took a gag reflex to keep her from swallowing it. Her tongue flitted around its edges. It was the key to her manacles!

She watched Ares watch Wolf walk back to Gabrielle. Wonder Woman discreetly turned her head back and spat the the key into her left palm. She looked up, and saw that Ares was preparing to send Wolf and Gabrielle on their way. With a cry of anger, she leapt from her crouching position into a perfect shoulder block, knocking Ares to the ground. Then she ran to Xena and snapped the manacles holding her as if they were rice paper.

“Wolf’s helping us escape! We need you to hold off Ares!” Xena needed no further encouragement, her will to fight returning in an instant. “Ki-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!”

Xena launched herself into a series of flips and caught Ares with a spinning heel kick, sending him sprawling to the ground again. She laughed with the pleasure of being alive and free. “Go! He’s all mine!”

Wonder Woman looked at Wolf, who could barely stand. She took him into his arms and shouted, “Hang on!” With a mighty leap, she carried them both into the sky portal just before it closed behind them.

They landed in an empty laboratory in the Lexcorp building, looking none the worse for wear.

“Are you all right?” Wonder Woman asked. “How do you feel?”

“Better,” Wolf replied, tentatively moving each limb. “Much better.”

They stood in silence for a long time, looking at each other. “So what happens now?” Wolf asked.

Wonder Woman thought for a while, then smiled ruefully. “I think we call this one a draw.”

Wolf nodded. “Agreed.”

“What are you going to do now?” She asked.

“Short term? Sever my ties with Lexcorp. I need to work solo. None of this in-house temp arrangement anymore. Long term, I’ll still be trying to enslave you.”

“I know.” They discussed it casually, as if the topic were bus schedules. “And I’ll still try to stop you.”

“Yes.” Wolf walked to the door and opened it. “Oh, there is one other thing I need to do.”

Clyde and Doug awoke naked and shivering on a snowy hilltop.

“Dude! Where are we?” Clyde asked.

“No idea, man. Last I remember, we had a new roach ready to go, then you farted, and I just passed out!” Doug replied.

“I didn’t fart! I thought I heard a gas leak. This is bogus! I’m freezing to death, dude!”

“Me, too. Hypothermia is heinous.”

“We need, like, some shelter or something.” Clyde said.

Doug looked around the area. “Dude! Up there on that hill! It’s a cabin! And I hear music. Sounds like a real party!”

Clyde narrowed his eyes at the cabin. “Now that’s more like it, dude! Party!”

They began to scramble up the hill. “But Clyde, we’re like, not wearing any clothes!”

“I know, Doug. Are we gonna be a hit with the ladies or what?”

“Hoody-hoo! High-five on that one!”

They pounded on the cabin door. A strapping, handsome blonde Norwegian answered. He grinned at them.

“You two popsicles look like you need some licking!”

Wolf allowed himself a smile as he tossed the empty video box into the trash. The title read:

SKI POLE STUDS 3: THE BACK DOOR LODGE

The End